A Slytherdor Romance
by hardcorehplover
Summary: Remus Lupin is anything but normal. He seems like the average 16 year old Hogwarts student, but he is a lot more than just that. And for some reason, he is attracted to a very beautiful, but Slytherin, Sirius Black. And Sirius seems attracted to him too! Eventual Wolfstar and Jily :) Please review :)
1. Chapter 1

**Hey! Long time no see. So recently I have been reading a bunch of fanfiction and I realized that I miss writing so I'm going to start doing it again and I'm gonna be committed to it**

 **I will be continuing TGWLE and I will upload a new chapter for that every Tuesday and Saturday, as well as this. Hopefully I can commit to this** **Now for the summary:**

 **Remus Lupin is anything but normal. He seems like the average 16 year old Hogwarts student, but he is a lot more than just that. And for some reason, he is attracted to a very beautiful, but Slytherin, Sirius Black. And Sirius seems attracted to him too! How do they hide this without being outed as freaks? And how can he be with someone who doesn't know what lies within?**

 **Hope you like and a review is always welcomed**

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"I'm not normal" Remus thought.

He was staring at his sickly body in the mirror of the sixth year Gryffindor boy's bathroom, examining his many scars.

"Perks of being a werewolf" he thought sarcastically.

Being bitten at a young age made life very hard for him. No one knew of course, his kind was hated, spat upon. However, Dumbledore thought he was worthy of learning magic so for six years, he has been learning at Hogwarts, no one knowing his secret.

Remus ran a hand through his hair, very stressed. A full moon was coming at the end of the week and he always dreaded them. Not being himself, giving himself scars, and the days after feeling worn out and tired. So dreadful.

Pushing the thought out of his mind, he got dressed, grabbed his stuff and made way for the Great Hall.

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Remus took his usual seat across from Peter Pettigrew, a friendly acquaintance of his. Remus liked the boy a lot but they weren't close in fear of learning his secret.

"Morning" Peter greeted quickly. He was hounding on his breakfast like it was his last meal.

"Morning" he murmured softly. He buttered some toast, picked up his book, and began reading.

He didn't know how, but his eyes found themselves, not staring at the words in his book, but a certain Slytherin. Sirius Black.

He was one of the most popular boys in his year, along with his best friend James Potter. Sirius also happened to be very handsome and attractive. His grey eyes, long black hair, his warm smile…

He shook his head, breaking out of his ridiculous thought. Remus knew he was gay but not attracted to Sirius. Yet, everyday he'd find himself looking at him. Laughing with his Slytherin friends, his grey eyes twinkling when he found something funny, his lips forming a wide smile, wishing he could feel how soft they are.

But Sirius was straight. He snogged half the Hogwarts girl population, or maybe ¾. Not once has he known Sirius to be involved with a guy. Plus, Remus was very awkward. He didn't have many friends due to his condition, he was a bit of a bookworm, very absorbed in his studies (except potions cause he's rubbish at it), and he was a gay werewolf, two things people look down upon.

Remus was used to being alone, but he wished he wasn't who he was so maybe, he could make some friends, like Sirius.

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Later on, Remus was heading to potions, his most dreaded class. He wasn't good at it and he didn't know why. All his other subjects came to him naturally except this one. He was surprised he didn't fail his Potions OWL.

Walking in, his eyes caught Sirius. He was talking to James, probably planning a prank. They do a lot of those. Remus looked for a seat and found one next to a girl in his year, Lily Evans. She was another attractive girl and like him, a Gryffindor. If Remus didn't like guys, he probably would've set sights on her. Lucky for him, Lily liked Remus and they were friendly. Not so lucky for him, her station just happened to be next to Sirius and James. And James just happened to have a huge crush on Lily.

Remus walked over to her and said "Do you mind if I sit here?". She smiled and nodded. She began explaining about something that happened in her ancient runes class, which Remus listened too, until he felt something, like paper, hit his head.

His eyes scanned for what it was and he realized that it was James Potter. Lily spun in her chair, looking murderous.

"Can you leave me alone and not throw paper at my friend?" she gritted through her teeth. Remus looked and saw that Sirius and James were now staring at him, which made his breathing pick up speed.

"Come on Lily, it was an accident. It was meant for you, we didn't mean to hit your friend" James smirked.

"Piss off Potter" she snapped and then turned back to Remus.

"Those two are just the worse. James keeps trying to hit on me, like all the time. And I think I would give him a chance if he'd grow up a bit" she sighed, her eyes staring off in the distance for a moment.

"Yeah, not so easy to take him serious when he's throwing paper at you" Remus murmured. She nodded and they started potions

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After potions, Lily offered to walk with him to the library, which he accepted. They walked, talking about classes and when they got there, they sat quietly, doing homework. Well, it was quiet until Remus heard a _psst_ noise. He looked up to see James and Sirius at a nearby table, not doing homework, but staring at him and Lily.

"OI, LILY" James whispered loudly. Lily looked up frustrated. James beckoned her to come to his table. She rolled her eyes and whispered "I'm gonna see what he wants, I'll be right back". She walked over and Remus got back to his work

When he felt a presence in the chair next to him he said without thinking "What did he…" but then realized it wasn't Lily, it was Sirius. He suddenly felt like he was going to have a heart attack.

"James is trying to talk old Lily-kins into going on a date" Sirius said with a smirk, looking at them and then back to Remus. Remus nodded and got back to his work, very much wanting to run for the hills.

"So I see you hang around Lily…" he trailed "I'm sorry, what's your name?"

Remus looked up finding Sirius staring at him with utter confusion. He felt himself fighting off a blush.

"R-Remus" he choked out, feeling anything but confident.

"I see. You're in some of my classes but I never knew you. You're so…independent" he observed. Remus nodded and Sirius gave his a smirk. Remus gave him a slight smile.

A moment later, a very angry Lily came storming back.

"I can't believe you two thought that would have worked but I've had enough! Get lost Black and you can tell your BEST FRIEND to " she gritted so angrily, Remus was afraid she might start throwing hexes.

Sirius smirked in amusement and got up. Before he went though, he called "See you around Remus". He smirked at him, gave him a wink and then he and Potter left, probably discussing what just happened.

Remus watched as they walked out, wanting to relive that whole moment. He snapped out of it and turned his attention to Lily, who was ranting about how immature James and Sirius are, but Remus wasn't listening. He was thinking about the way Sirius smirked at him and spoke to him as if he wasn't even a Gryffindor and as if they didn't have rivalry, more like a good friend. He even offered to "see him around", whatever that meant.

Maybe this was the start of a friendship with the boy he just won't stop swooning over.

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 **WOW! I like how this turned out. I'm so excited to write more. Chapter two will be up on Saturday and either today or Saturday TGWLE will have a new chapter so be on the lookout for that, if you want of course.**

 **Also a review would be really cool cause I like to her your thoughts and to see if there are some Wolfstar shippers out there ;)**

 **Also a big thanks to tigergirl-moonstar for giving me the idea for this**

 **Have a good Tuesday!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey, aren't I terrible! I promise to post on Tuesdays and here I am on a Wednesday! But I'm prewriting my chapters so yay me** **Thank you to everyone who reviewed, favorite or followed, it makes me smile to know you like the story. If you have any questions or suggestions, please let me know, now let's read more about the beauty that is Wolfstar! Please Review**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter in any shape or form, if I did, Wolfstar would have happened and they would have lived happily ever after….. (Begins to sob)**

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For the next few days, it's like Remus's eyes refused to look at anyone but Sirius. Ever since their talk in the library, Sirius would sneak small smirks at him and even say "hey" sometimes. He didn't know if he wanted to be friends with him, especially since he was the so noble Sirius Black and he would probably rather have someone who wasn't a gay, awkward werewolf.

On the bright side, he saw a lot of him when he was with Lily. James still kept up on trying to get her and over time, Remus noticed he wasn't as silly and was even a bit mature on the way he approached her. Lily however was having none of it and all but spat in his face when he talked to her. But she slowly began warming up to him and told Remus that maybe; she'll give him a chance.

Over the next couple weeks, Lily and Remus became regular study buddies. He felt like he finally had a friend. He was even getting better with Pettigrew. Letting people in was actually a bigger relief then being alone all the time. He would never reveal his secret though. Maybe soon he could have Sirius be his friend, maybe. It would be a lot easier if they weren't in two different houses that just happened to be longtime rivals.

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One day, Remus and Lily were outside working on charms. Soon it was going to be cold so they took advantage of outside before they were stuffed back into the library.

All of a sudden, as Remus wrote his last word, he heard a bunch of noise and laughter. He looked for the source and found that it was a group of Slytherin laughing at something. And among those Slytherin, James and Sirius were there as well.

Remus immediately put his head down but when he looked up, he saw Sirius look in their direction and they locked eyes. He smirked widely and whispered something to James. He looked at Remus, smiled and said "Be on your way lads, we got business to attend to". When they left, they started walking towards them.

Remus looked down and felt really bad for being the reason why James is going to come over here to bother her. Lily didn't even know they were coming until James yelled "Evans" in a loud, seductive, silly voice. Sirius barked loudly in laughter.

She looked up and rolled her eyes "What do you want now Potter?" she asked tiredly.

"No need to get your kickers in a twist, Jamesey just wants to talk to you and I'd like to talk to Remus" Sirius smirked.

"You do?" James and Lily asked together, both staring at Remus.

"Yes I do know, get on with it Jamesey!" Sirius smiled. Sirius put his arm around Remus and they walked off, Remus feeling like his insides just fainted.

"So, how ya doing?" Sirius asked. He plopped down on the grass near the tree where they were studying. He cocked his head and stared up at him, his grey eyes reflecting in the sun.

Remus sat down slowly and said "Uh, okay I-I guess" he said quick, feeling nervous with him staring right at him.

Sirius frowned a little and since he was desperate to change the subject he asked "What is James asking Lily?"

That seemed to brighten him cause he smiled and said "Jamesey is trying to get Lily-kins to go to Hogsmeade with him".

"Oh, what makes him think she'll say yes?" he asked curiously.

"Well, I don't know but James is really trying. He really likes her so maybe he will finally give in" he said softly. Remus admired him, how he cared so much for his friend's happiness. He smiled to himself and looked back at Sirius.

"Do you want to tag along?" Sirius asked.

"W-what?" Remus stammered embarrassingly.

Sirius laughed. "Well if Lily says yes, James asked me to tag along for a double date so things are comfortable. He said to bring someone close to Lily but all her friends are sappy and obsessive" he trailed.

Remus was about to defend them but he realized he didn't know them that well sol it wouldn't make much sense to.

"Anyway, I think you're really cool and you're close to Lily. Plus it doesn't have to be a date, just the two of us hanging out" he said warmly.

Remus just stared at him. Sirius Black wanted to go on a date with him! Well not a date, just a hang out but it still meant being with him so that was good enough! When he snapped out of it, he saw Sirius start to worry. He coughed really embarrassingly and blurted out "I'd love to".

Sirius stared but smiled widely. "Wicked! I'll see you there then". Remus only smiled and then James approached.

"It took some convincing but Lily said yes!" he exclaimed. Sirius gave him a clap on the back while Remus watched.

"Remus I promise to treat Lily-kins with the utmost respect" James said proudly. Remus and Sirius laughed.

"You will have to because Remus is coming with us" Sirius smiled.

Remus smiled lightly and expected James to be disgusted or confused or creeped out but he smiled and said "Well that'll be even better! See you there Remus!" he said with a smile so bright that it'd put the sun to shame. He ran off and Sirius said "See you there Remus" and ran off toward James.

Remus smiled and went back to Lily. "So you said yes?" he smirked.

She laughed lightly and said "Don't amuse yourself. Maybe he's not as much as a toe-rag than I thought and he'll be cool. Regardless, I'll tell you how it goes".

"Won't need to, I'm tagging along" he said. Lily looked up and laughed.

"Oh Remus, I appreciate it but I can handle it, really"

He smiled back and said "Don't worry, I'm not playing big brother, Sirius asked me to go with him".

She frowned a little and said "Oh? You guys are friends?" she asked.

He frowned at that thought and said "I think so, were good and all and I doubt he'd ask me to go if he didn't see me as a friend". She nodded and started pulling out another book.

When Remus went to bed that night, he thought about the end of the week when he went to Hogsmeade with his crush and had his dreams from a long time coming true.

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 **I had trouble writing this cause I didn't know what to put but I wanted Remus and Sirius to spend more time together. But am I moving too fast with them? Is Sirius being too nice? Please let me know so I know what you like. Next chapter, Remus and Sirius will go to Hogsmeade.**

 **I decided that I would post this story on Tuesday and TGWLE on Saturday. I promise to keep on schedule. Hope you liked this!**

 **PLEASE REVIEW!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi everyone! I haven't updated in a long time and instead of hitting you with a long apology, I'm just going to say that I'm am determined to be active;) Thank you to everyone that stuck with me when I wasn't writing.**

 **I also took a look at your reviews from my last chapter and I took a lot of that and put it in my future chapters. I am hoping that I can find a beta to help me with this story because I have no idea what to do with it yet. I. Anyway, enough rant, let's read some WOLFSTAR!**

 **Disclaimer: I realized that I never disclaimer my stories but we all know HP doesn't belong to me** **that's all for JK Rowling!**

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 _ ** Chapter 3: Confirmation**_

Remus had been a nervous wreck for Saturday. Ever since Sirius asked him out-well asked to hang out-he'd been as awkward as ever. Lily seemed calm about it and when he asked all she said was "Honestly, I don't know why. I think I'll see how this goes and maybe I won't be as horrible to him but I'm not jumping straight into a relationship. I still think him and his stupid friend Black are immature toe rags."

Sirius had not spoken to him since he asked to hang out. He'd see him smile when they saw each other but no words were spoken. None with James either. James would nod to Remus when he was with Lily but that was it. Remus was worried that Sirius was kidding and was going to blow him off. He wouldn't be surprised. Who would want to go out with someone like him? A werewolf? A monster. If Sirius really wanted to go on a date, they most likely would have spoken by now. Or maybe not. All Remus knew was that he would be lucky if he didn't have an anxiety attack by Saturday.

It was Friday that he was finally confirmed that he wasn't dreaming about the date with Sirius. It was during potions. Remus and Lily were working on The Draught of Peace Potion when they heard a noise from the left. Lily looked up first and nudged Remus. Remus looked up. "I think Black is trying to get your attention" she said simply then went back to work. Remus looked over her and saw Sirius staring at him and mouthing "Meet me after class". Remus froze but then nodded and got back to his potion. What if he didn't want to go anymore? He had a feeling so he tried to keep the mindset that no one would ever want to do anything with him and wants nothing to do with him.

When the bell rang, he told Lily he'd see her in the Great Hall. Once she left, he saw James and Sirius getting up. Sirius walked up to him with James trailing behind him. Remus stared at James. Sirius apparently didn't notice James until he saw Remus staring and he turned around. "Oi James, I need to talk with Remus here so go on will you?" Sirius said playfully with an annoyed look.

"Why can't I be here? Is it going to be long?" James asked stubbornly. Sirius rolled his eyes and said. "James, it'll be quick and its between us too so go on to lunch!" he said calm but impatiently. James rolled his eyes, grumbled something about him being a git, and went on.

"Phew, some clinger" he said. His eyes left James and looked at Remus. Remus heart stopped again for the billionth time and his eyes were lost in Sirius's grey ones. "So I just wanted to ask if you still wanted to go to Homemade. I thought you'd think I'd ditch your or something so if you still want to go that's great, if you don't that's..."

"I'll go!" Remus said quickly. His eyes widened at his sudden words and he looked down, a rush of embarrassment rushing his body. Sirius grinned and said "Cool. Meet me and James in the Great hall tomorrow after breakfast and we'll go! See ya!" He clapped Remus on the back and ran off to lunch. Remus turned and watched him run and then smiled. Sirius hadn't ditched him and maybe, tomorrow will just be awesome.

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 **Yes, I know that was short but I want Hogsmeade to have its own chapter. Plus this was a chapter to ensure you I'm alive** **I will be uploading both Hogsmeade parts on Tuesday. Please review and tell me what you think. See you then. :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Here's Hogsmeade! There will be two parts to this chapter and the next one will be up soon. Anyways, let's see how Remus does**

 **Disclaimer: It isn't mine, and it never will be**

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 ** Chapter 4: Hogsmeade Part 1**

When Remus woke up Saturday morning, everything seemed fine. It was a Hogsmeade weekend meaning everyone would be out of the castle and he could have most of the library to himself. He smiled at that thought. His smile faded when he remembered that he was going to Hogsmeade. With Sirius Black. He gulped. Remus looked over to his alarm. 7:30. He had to meet Sirius and James after breakfast. Remus never knew he could be so nervous about this. He had only gone to Hogsmeade once in his 3rd year just to check it out but never went again after that. Remus groaned and dragged himself out of bed and into the shower.

After his shower, he stood in front of the mirror, staring at himself. Something he hated to do. Remus hated his appearance. His hair, his face. The only thing that was nice was his eyes, which were amber and, in the light, actually looked gold. But his body, was full of scars, the wolf's doing of course. He closed his eyes and opened again, still looking the same, a sharp pain going through him at the mere thought of who he was.

He snapped out of it and realized then that he had nothing to wear. Remus went through his muggle clothes looking for something decent. He decided on a pale gray sweater, some jeans and his least worn out pants. It was the most decent he could look. He ran a hand through his hair and went to brush his teeth. Once he finished he made his way to the Great Hall.

He walked to the Gryffindor table with his hands shoved in his pockets. He sat down across from Peter, gave a quick hello to him, and grabbed a piece of toast. His hands were shaking and when he tried to pour himself pumpkin juice, he dropped the jug. Peter looked at him confused. "You alright Remus?" Perter asked.

"Y-y-yes. Sorry" he muttered. He pulled out his wand and with a quick spell, cleaned up the mess. Remus decided just not to eat. He scanned the Great Hall. Everyone was cheery and happy for a fun day in Hogsmeade. Except Remus, obviously. He was only nervous.

Remus saw Sirius and James. They were talking to some other Slytherin and laughing. Sirius didn't see him stare so Remus just observed him. He was wearing a black shirt with a black leather jacket. His hair wasn't any different and neither were his warm grey eyes a light smile. Remus felt himself smile and all of a sudden, instead of seeing Sirius he saw Lily staring at him with a confused look.

"Remus, why are you staring at the Slytherin table" she asked curiously. His eyes widened "Err, I...I w-wasn't" he stammered, suddenly interested in the wood on the table. "Hey, I was teasing" she smiled. He blinked but then smiled too.

"Anyway, I came to sit with you until you finish eating. Potter-I mean-no I'm not going to stop calling him that. This is just a small little get together and if he's immature, he can forget it. But like I was saying, I'm just sitting here until your done so we can go meet up with them" she declared. Remus just stared at her and said a simple "Okay". She nodded and started looking around. Remus checked his watch and saw breakfast was almost over. He also noticed Potter and Sirius exiting their table and heading out of the Great Hall. "I think we should go now' Remus told Lily.

She looked at him and then his plate and then back at him. "Remus, did you even eat?" she asked. "Of course" he lied. She looked at him straight in the eye and he did the same. However, her stare was so hard and intimidating that he cowered and said "Okay, no. But I'll eat in Hogsmeade." She blinked and looked him up and down, clearly trying to figure something out. After a minute, she shook her head and muttered "If you say so."

They stood up and walked out of the Great Hall. Remus finally got a good look at Lily's attire. She was wearing a lavender dress with a blue jean jacket and matching lavender flats. Her red hair was straight and flowy all the way to her hip. She had on some lip gloss but no makeup otherwise. In all honestly, she looked really pretty. James was a lucky bloke. At least he will be if he doesn't screw this up.

Remus and Lily found the boys when James wolf-whistled their way. James and Sirius walked towards then with smiles on their faces. Lily rolled her eyes and looked at Remus with annoyed look on her face. James came to them and said "Wowie Evans, don't you look dashing?" James had on a gray leather jacket with a black shirt and black jeans. His hair was a mess on his head and he had a huge grin on his face. He looked Lily up and down with amusement. This clearly didn't amuse Lily.

"Look Potter, if you're going to wolf whistle to me and look at me like I'm steak then I don't know how we will have this date today" she growled, shooting him the same glare she shot Remus, making James cower. "Right err, sorry ha-ha, you look nice, eve-Lily" he smiled with a hopeful look on his face. She nodded and looked in another direction. James frowned and then noticed Remus. He nodded and said "Hello Remus". Remus nodded in acknowledgement and looked at Sirius, who has already looking at him.

Sirius had a curious look on his face and looked him up and down. When Sirius met his eyes, he smiled and said "Remus, why don't we head on while these too lovebirds argue?" James shot him a glare and Lily got aggravated and glared daggers at him. "Call us lovebirds again Black, and I'll hex you into 7th year" she growled. He still grinned and it was quiet for a while. "Err, so are we going to go?" Remus asked, breaking the silence. Everyone looked at him in shock. "Yes let's go before we stand here until Hogsmeade ends, coming Lily?" James asked. Lily nodded and walked on. Remus saw Sirius staring. "Ready?" Sirius asked. Remus nodded and said "Ready" and the four of them headed out of the castle.

When they got outside and got their names checked off, James found them a carriage and the four of them went in. James tried sitting with lily but she took the seat next to Remus. James ended up sitting with Sirius. "So, where are we going today?" James asked. "I was thinking we start at Honeydukes, you know get some sweets. Then after we can go to Spintwitches Sporting Needs so I can pick up some Quidditch things and just to look around. Then we hit Zonkos to find some new things for pranks, then the Three Broomsticks for that amazing Butterbeer that Madam Rosmerta cooks up. Then we can head to the Shrieking Shack so we can see if its actually haunted there like everyone says, then we can go on back to the castle, agreed?"

Everyone stared at him and Remus froze. The idea of going to the Shrieking Shack was not on his plate .He goes there enough to be miserable but to go again without having to is just hell. Lucky for him, Lily exploded on him before anyone noticed his nervousness. "Wow James that would be great if you weren't on a date. Are you forgetting me and Remus are here as well? Not everyone wants to snack on sugar or play pranks. Maybe we should go to places we ALL agree on, not something only you and Sirius agree on" she snapped. James just looked guilty.

"She's right Jamie, we should think about what they want to do as well" he said grinning. "Don't call me Jamie" he grumbled under his breath. "Fine, Lily, love, where would you and Remus like to go?" James asked formally. I'm not your love first of all," Lily snapped. "And I for one would like to go to Scrivenshafts. I need some new quills. Then Tomes and Scrolls. I love looking for new books there. I suppose Honeydukes is okay and the other places you said…" she glanced at Remus and then said "but NOT the Shrieking Shack."

Remus looked at her just to see her look at him. "Remus, requests?" Everyone was looking at him. "Oh err, everywhere Lily said… but not the shack, really not he shack" he said. He froze, realizing he might've revealed too much. "Something against the shack Remus?" James asked. Before he could ask, Sirius intervened. "Shut it Jamie, he doesn't want to go, we won't go" he snapped. James eyes widened in shock and he muttered something with an annoyed look. Lily must've seen because her voice became kind. "Look, why don't we just go to all the shops we disused and avoid this Shrieking Shack, okay James?" she asked with a smile. He stared and grinned. "Yeah, definitely." Remus and Sirius chuckled at them smiling. At some point, the carriage stopped. Sirius opened the carriage and they all stepped out. They looked over the village. Sirius turned to Remus and said "Ready?" He was smiling and Remus was smiling too and said "Ready" and together, the four of them entered the village.

To be continued…

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 **So I know there not in Hogsmeade but I think that this is a good place to stop. There will actually be three parts for this, or maybe two I don't know yet. Hope you liked. Also I have a question: Is there another POV you guys want to see. Like Sirius's or James or Lily's? If you do, let me know. Anyways, I'll see all you guys on Saturday. Please review and heav a great day**


	5. Chapter 5

**Another Hogsmeade chapter! I actually had a perfectly written one down and edited and ready to save. But then my laptop died and since it wasn't saved, all…my…work…was…gone. I'll admit it was partially my fault but I didn't care much about that at the time. So I had to retype it and mind you it was long. Anyway, that's enough about my troubles. Enjoy this chapter and please review**

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 ** Chapter 5: Hogsmeade Part 2**

As the four of them walked into Hogsmeade, Remus looked around. It was nice and warm out and the village was filled with happy, cheery people. There was a bit of cool, crisp air and it was just perfect. Remus smiled to himself. The four of them walked over to a nearby tree to discuss plans.

"So, where should we head first?" Sirius asked. They all looked at each other and eventually, James answered. "How about Honeydukes?" he asked nervously. Remus chuckled to himself. It was obvious James was still nervous about setting Lily off after what happened in the carriage.

Lily sensed this. "I suppose. Remus?" she asked, her eyes locking with his. Remus shrugged. He didn't care much where they went as long as it wasn't the Shrieking Shack and it was with Lily.

"Alright, let's go!" James said cheerily. Lily rolled her eyes and chuckled. She and James walked together and for once, she didn't seem angry at his presence. Remus and Sirius stayed back a little and they walked together.

It was silent and Remus was hoping it'd stay that way. However, Sirius broke the silence. "So how's life Remus?" Sirius casually asked.

Remus was quiet for a minute. "Okay, I suppose" he answered. He didn't want to lie and say great because he was really nervous. Despite the fact that they had talked a lot already, he was still nervous around him. Sirius nodded and looked ahead. Remus just fiddled with his sweater sleeve. It was something he did when he was nervous. He figured that he should say something back.

"And you?" he asked, even though it sound forced out.

"Same here" he said, sounding distracted. Remus looked at him and noticed he was staring ahead and looking right at James and Lily. Remus thought of asking but he kept it to himself. They remained quiet and continued their walk to Honeydukes.

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When the two of them arrived, Lily and James were already in. James rolled his eyes and mumbled something that sounded like "took you long enough. Sirius shot him a look and Remus just looked down. James then opened the door and let Lily go in first. Lily walked in, then Remus, then Sirius, then James.

Remus looked around at the colorful store of sweets. It was so much but Remus was looking for something in particular. When his eyes spotted it, he walked towards it. Chocolate. Chocolate had been his friend during some really hard full moons. He smiled and looked at all the different kinds. He was so lost in it that he hadn't realized that Sirius was right next to him.

"So chocolate is your thing?" he smirked. Remus spun fast and smiled an awkward smile.

"Er, yeah it is" he mumbled with a weird smile. The fact that he was surrounded by chocolate and Sirius made him want to smile. Sirius seemed to be happy at his smile and smiled too.

"What are your favorite kinds?" he asked.

"I like Milk Chocolate and Caramel" he answered a bit lighter. He felt himself about to make a fool of himself. Sirius nodded and took a few of each chocolate. Remus raised an eyebrow and Sirius took the chocolate to the counter. Moments later he came to Remus with a Honeydukes bag.

When he handed it to him, Remus blushed. "Y-you didn't have to do that" he pointed out. Sirius shrugged. "I saw the way you looked at that chocolate. It looked like James when he got a new broom. It's no problem, really" he said. Remus smiled and thanked him.

The two then walked over to Lily and James, who seemed to be arguing. "Potter that's too much candy. Honestly lighten up a little" she reasoned.

"Evans, this is my usual amount. I need it" he argued.

"Your usual amount?! All that's going to do is rotten your teeth so just put some back" she snapped.

"Why don't you just stop commenting on my sugar load, thank you very much" he snapped, sounding annoyed.

Lily looked sad and angry at the same time. "Gladly" she snapped, and then walked out the door. Before James tried to, Remus went outside. She was standing there with her arms crossed and with an angry expression. When she spotted Remus, she walked towards him.

"Ugh, that arrogant toerag! I just wanted to have a good time and try to give him a chance and his goes ahead and acts like that! ARGH!" she growled.

Remus put a hand on her shoulder. "Lily, I'm sure he's sorry. He just doesn't know how to act. Let's just let this go and move on. Okay?" he reasoned. She stared at him for a while before she nodded.

When they were about to go back inside, James ran out with Sirius trailing him. "Lily, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you" he apologized, a sad look taking over his face.

"Its fine" Lily mumbled. Remus smiled and when he looked up, he saw Sirius with the same expression of relief. "How about Tomes and Scrolls?" Lily asked. Before anyone said anything, James was nodding and leading the way. They all laughed and made their way to Tomes and Scrolls.

* * *

When they arrived at Tomes and Scrolls, Lily and Remus each made dives for different sections. They both loved books so a bookstore was like home. Remus looked at all the different books and tried to choose. He wanted to take them all but he only had enough for at least two, possibly one, He was lost in deep thought about one of his books that, once again, he didn't realize Sirius was there.

"You and Evans really love books huh?" Sirius asked. Remus looked and once again, he was surrounded by things he really liked.

"Yeah" he shrugged. Sirius nodded and looked at the books. "What are these about?" he asked, sounding curious. Remus blushed. He didn't really like talking about what he read because others found it boring. "Er, mostly Philosophy and such" he shrugged. Sirius raised his eye but nodded anyway.

"I'm not much of a reader. Probably why I'm such a bad student" Sirius chuckled. Remus didn't know what to say so he just stared. Sirius looked directly into Remus's eyes and said "I'm more into Quidditch, something physical. I suppose that makes us very different" he said, his eyes still locked.

Remus only nodded, his eyes drifting to his lips. He only wished he could plant his lips right on them but he caught himself and looked away. He could feel Sirius smiling and looked away. Remus grabbed a book he had been interested in and the two of them walked back to Lily and James.

Lily was at the counter while James was standing there looking like he had never done anything so boring in his whole life. Once Remus paid, James dashed out of the store. Remus rolled his eyes and Sirius whispered "He hates books. The only book he has ever read was this one about Quidditch". When they were outside, James suggested Spintwitches Sports Shop. Sirius nodded excitedly and they all made their way to the shop.

When they arrived, James and Sirius looked like two little kids getting candy. They ran in and over to the supplies.

"Those two are so immature sometimes" Lily commented. Remus chuckled and the two of them just walked around. "So how are you and Sirius?'' Lily asked. "Good, it's nice hanging out with him" Remus replied. It was true. So far hanging out with Sirius had been fun. Lily nodded. "I'm glad you two are having fun" she replied. Remus sensed some sadness in her voice.

"How about you and James?" he asked. She hesitated, but then said "It's alright. Not exactly what I thought but you can only hope for so much" she responded. He nodded. The two just continue to talk and wait for James and Sirius.

"Who knew Hogsmeade could be so good" Remus thought.

* * *

 **I think this turned out pretty good. There will be a final part and things will get a bit heated. Hoped you liked. Please review and have a great day**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey everyone! I haven't updated in a long time but I have an excuse! My excuse is school. It's killing me. But as a New Year's resolution, I am going to post every week. I promise you guys** **I really want to write more and this helps. Anyways, forgive me for my absence and let's conclude the Hogsmeade portion of this tory!**

 **Disclaimer: None of the characters or places or any of that belongs to me, sadly**

* * *

 **Chapter 7: Hogsmeade Part 3**

"How about Scrivenshafts?" James offered. The group had left Spintwitches and was walking around the village, not going anywhere in specific and no one spoke up. Until now, which shocked Remus because he didn't think James would even go near that store.

"Sounds good" Sirius said. Remus turned towards him. Sirius was walking next to James and had caught his eye, winking at him thoughtfully. Remus felt he go scarlet and turned away.

"Sure, why not" Lily said cheerfully. Remus glanced at her and saw her smile. He didn't really know how much of this date Lily had actually been enjoying and he was glad she could go somewhere she liked. Everyone turned towards Remus with the question on their face asking if he wants to go there too. Remus nodded with a shrug and the group walked to the fine ink store.

* * *

When they entered, Lily's eyes grew large and she admired everything. "All these writing supplies, Merlin…" she whispered. Her gaze averted to a new line of inks and quills for note-taking.

"How about you and I go look around the store for things to get?" James offered. Lily turned to him and stared at him for a moment. His eyes avoided hers and looked at anything else that wasn't Lily. Lily glanced at Remus, her eyes asking _"What do I do?"_ Remus smiled and nodded to her.

She nodded back and said "Sure, let's go". James's mood picked up and the two of them went off into the depths of Scrivenshafts.

"Well I guess it's just us then" Sirius shrugged. Remus nodded. The two of them went off to look at quills. At some point, Remus stopped to look at one in particular for note-taking. He observed it for a while.

"You know, you and I are so different" Remus heard someone say. He gasped and turned to face Sirius, who had a light smile on his face and his warm grey eyes brighter. Remus gulped.

"I mean, you and I find comfort in completely different things." he started. "For example, you seem to enjoy books, chocolate and that stuff while I enjoy parties, sex and Quidditch" he blurted out. Remus felt himself blushing, thinking " _Maybe that was a little too much information_ "

"But it's a good thing." Sirius said. Remus looked up and saw Sirius watching him with interest. "It's good you're different because…I'm so much like everyone else in my life, you know? I've never met someone so…relaxed or into your type of stuff. Not a bad thing though, just a thought"

Remus didn't know what to say so he muttered a "thank you". However, their eyes were locked in an intense stare. Sirius's grey eyes searched his and cocked his head slightly. Remus just stood there, looking into his eyes, they eyes he always adored. Grey meeting Amber. They could've been like that forever, however all good things come to an end.

"Hey you two were leaving!" James yelled from the front of the store. Lily was beside him with a small Scrivenshafts bag in her hand. Remus cleared his throat and the tension from a minute ago turned into awkwardness. Sirius nodded and they went to catch up with Lily and James.

"How about we go to the Three Broomsticks? I'm starving" Sirius whined. James barked a loud laugh and Remus gave a small laugh. Sirius looked over at him and grinned, pleased that he could make him laugh. "Yeah, I am as well" Lily pointed out. Then they headed to the Three Broomsticks.

* * *

When they got inside, the feeling of warmth and smell of chocolate and Butterbeer filled the room. It comforted Remus and he smiled because it was his comfort. He smiled and followed them to the counter. Nigga no

"How about you three head to find a table and I'll get some Butterbeers while sweet talking Rosmerta" James chuckled.

However, Lily wasn't amused. She narrowed her eyes at James and had an " _I will hex you_ " look on her face. James immediately recognized it and he was tripping on his words.

"Ha-ha I was j-just kidding Lily. Err, yeah, ha-ha, you lot find a table and I'll be going now". James then scurried off to go order receive the Butterbeers. Sirius snorted and they went to get a table. When they found one, Remus sat at the window seat across from Lily and next to Sirius, much to his delight.

Remus turned and watched outside the window. It was open slightly so he felt the sharp cool air filling the sky, watched the fresh leaves fall swiftly to the ground, lots and lots of Hogwarts students making their way around the village. Remus was lost in thought for a little while, just focusing on what was happening outside.

"Here ya go" James beamed. Remus snapped out of his thoughts and focused on the Butterbeer in front of him. "Cheers you guys!" James laughed and began downing the Butterbeer. Sirius rolled his eyes but nevertheless took a sip. Remus was hesitant however. He had never had Butterbeer before so he only watched it.

"Never had Butterbeer before I reckon?" Sirius asked. Remus saw that Sirius was watching his stare at the Butterbeer. "It's really good, I swear" he promised, giving his signature smile. Remus hesitated, but moved the mug to his lips and took a sip of the Butterbeer. Once it went down his throat, he felt like his throat was screaming with delight. It was creamy, warm, and buttery and it made his insides tingle with coziness and warmth. He smiled small when he removed it from his lips and nodded towards Sirius.

For a while it was silent, everyone just sitting, drinking their Butterbeers. Remus glanced at Lily and noticed she looked very lost. Her head was lowered a bit and she took small sips of Butterbeer, her gaze fixed on the castle visible from our window, like she wanted to be there rather than here.

"Enjoying today?" James asked Lily. Lily snapped out of her phase and looked back at James.

"Yeah I supposed" she shrugged. She then went back to her staring.

James frowned and looked at Sirius mouthing " _what do I bloody say?"_ Sirius shrugged and mouthed " _this isn't exactly my area of expertise_ ". James rolled his eyes and looked back at Lily.

"Err Lily, I just w-wanted t-to say that you look really pretty t-today" James stammered. Lily turned towards him and smiled. "Thank you James" she said.

Remus, for some reason, found this really funny. He bit his lip in attempt not to laugh but once he heard Sirius burst out laughing, he couldn't help but laugh a little. Lily was confused at first but then she chuckled and laughed with them. Not to long after that, James joined in. For a few minutes, the four of them were just laughing hard on their stools.

" _This is how it's supposed to be, nothing can ruin this_ " Remus thought. However, the universe was 100% against him and something did ruin their perfect moment.

Several minutes later, a group of 4 boys came up to their table. Judging by their looks, they were most likely Slytherin. When James saw them approach, he cleared his throat.

"Err, Jason, hey mate" James said confused but trying to act cool. Lily and Remus looked away in attempt not to be noticed.

"Ah Potter, Black! My favorite sneaky Slytherins!" Jason spat. Remus felt the hairs on his back tingle from where the spit landed. He shivered in annoyance.

"What are you two doing here, going on a date with _each other_?!" Jason barked, the rest of his crew laughing too.

"Shut up will you? Were on a date with _others_ " "James nodded towards Lily. When Jason's saw Lily, his eyes widened.

"Is this that red haired Gryffindor that you're always talking about having…" he started.

"Shut up!" James yelled, cutting him off and blushing like a madman.

Lily but her lip and had an angry look on her face. She narrowed her eyes like daggers at James, indicating she was mad at him. She then put her glare on Jason, who began to cower. Slytherin or not, Lily's glare could have you weeping and calling for your mum.

Jason shifted his attention to Remus, whose head had been down, ignoring everything around him.

"You're definitely playing both sides if you brought this bloke. Hell is you anyway? You look in need of a nap and some food" he laughed hard. Everyone's eyes went to Remus. Remus blinked hard, his breathing speed increasing and his body stilling.

"Oh so is the little homo anorexic freak gone sit there and blush like the homo freak he is?" Jason laughed.

Suddenly Remus heard a _CRACK_! His head turned up and he saw Sirius beating Jason up. Sirius punched him hard in the gut, in the face, stomach and the place where the sun doesn't shine. Jason cowered, his face covered with blood. The people in there were either cheering or attempting to break up the fight. Sirius grabbed hi, by the collar and slammed him into the wall.

"Say another damn thing about him again and I won't be so easy next time" Sirius whispered violently and dangerously. Jason nodded fast and James pulled Sirius off. "What the hell mate?" James yelled, dragging Sirius outside the pub.

Jason stood with a bloodied, battered face. Lily looked at him for a moment then got up and kicked him hard again. He howled loudly.

"Get out!" Lily screamed. Jason and his friends all scrambled out of the store.

Lily turned to face Remus. He sat motionless, his eyes wide, mouth agape. He looked pained, like he was insulted deeply and emotionally, which he was.

"Oh Remus" Lily cried. She ran to him and gave him a hug. This shocked him. He never got hugs from anyone except close family. He wrapped his arms around her and the smell of strawberries and vanilla in her hair eased his nerves a bit.

Remus scanned the store and saw everyone go back to their little routine, but he suspected they were all talking about it still. When she let go, she sat in Sirius's chair her emerald eyes were filed with worry.

"Oh Remus I'm so sorry! Those Slytherins are so bloody arrogant, calling you those names. And I made you come, well not exactly, but I'm just so sorry you had to hear that…" she rambled. Remus put his hand on her shoulder to silence her.

"Lily, it's…its fine. It's not your fault. They are just going to be that way so I just have to err, accept it" he said sadly.

"Oh no you won't accept it! That's the last time they'll do that to you if I have anything to say about it. I'm sorry Remus, are you okay? Do your want to go?" she rambled, sounding extremely worried.

"NO! This is your date, I will stay. Plus, village time is almost over so we have time for at least one or two more shops. I'll manage, I promise" Remus put on a weak, fake smile. Lily stared at him, her green eyes searching his amber ones. Eventually she nodded and the two of the looked out the window, watching Sirius and James argue.

James was yelling and emphasizing his point by moving his hands. Sirius had his arms crossed and when he turned towards the window and saw them staring, he cut James off, said something, and the two of them headed back inside. When they reached the table, Lily moved back to her seat and Sirius sat in his.

"Remus, I'm really sorry that they did that. It was horrible and I would kill them all if it didn't mean I got expelled" he declared. Remus gave him a smile of acceptance and then glanced at James, who was glaring daggers at him. His brown eyes narrowed at Remus and his lips were pressed together firmly.

James turned away from Remus and looked at Lily, all the anger disappearing into sympathy and sadness. "Lily I'm sorry for what he said, he was being an arse by saying that stuff because I'm not like that. I respect you, really I do" he said with honesty.

Lily looked him up and down and said. "It's alright, but you should really be apologizing to Remus, it was worse for him." Lily pointed at me.

James looked at Remus with hate and then looked at Sirius. When he looked back at Remus, some of the anger was gone.

"I'm sorry about the way my friends were acting towards you" he said bluntly and forced.

Remus stared for a moment and then said" "It's alright"

James nodded and looked out the window. They were all silent for some time.

"Why don't we go find one more shop to go to then head back to the castle" Sirius suggested. They all agreed and headed out of the Three Broomsticks. As they walked, it was quiet between them again.

"Howe about instead of a shop, we take a look at the Shrieking Shack?" James requested. Remus felt his insides freeze at the mention of the shack and began sweating.

"I thought we agreed we weren't going in" Lily said. She and Sirius were looking at him and when James noticed, he looked at him too.

"Got something against the shack that you can't go in?" James asked. Remus shrugged and was going keeps walking but everyone halted to a stop. Remus stood there with his hands in his pockets, looking down. He felt James come closer.

"Clearly you do. Every time we brought up the shack, you didn't want to go. I mean seriously what your problem?" James pushed.

"N-nothing" Remus muttered.

"Then why don't you go in?" James asked harshly with an amused smile.

"James please stop." Lily pleaded desperately. "If he doesn't want to go, we don't have to go. Let's go to Zonkos, you can get some pranking stuff." While pranks always intrigued him before, he completely ignored Lily.

"C'mon Remus tell us. Are you scared, a bit of a wimp?" he laughed. Remus was still and quiet, trying to block out his words.

"Shut up mate seriously" Sirius growled, his tone angry and annoyed,

"No I want to know what's so bad about the shack" James simply stated. Remus felt his body going on overdrive and his heart beating rapidly.

"Say it" he pressed.

"James…" Lily warned.

'Come on Remus" James pressed harder. Remus felt very overwhelmed and uncomfortable.

"James enough!" Sirius yelled loudly.

"TELL ME!" James roared in his face, pressed right against him.

That's when Remus felt the warm tears slipped down his cheek but also when he felt that James had come off. He witnessed Sirius right hook James hard in the face. "How about you mind your own fucking business for once?" Sirius bellowed.

James was on the ground with thick blood pouring from his broken nose. He stood and faced Remus, who was crying and had shock in his eyes. Lily ran and stood in front of Remus, her face and eyes red, tears slipping down her flushed cheeks.

"You are such an asshole James Potter! An arrogant, incompetent toe rag! I knew it was a bad idea to go on a date with you and yet, I gave you try. On this date you've acted completely annoying and tried to be nice when you saw I was treated my friend like complete shit ,overwhelmed him and I'm not okay with that at all! I hated this date and I hate you!" Lily bellowed. Her tears came down furiously.

She grabbed Remus and dragged him towards the entrance to the village. The last thing Remus saw was Sirius's eyes filled grey with sadness as Lily whisked him away.

* * *

 **And that's it! I can't believe how long it took me to write this but I did! And I will be posting this story weekly because I am trying something new! Also if you're rereading my other story "tgwle" from a while ago, aka months, a new chapter will be posted soon. This ends the Hogsmeade portion and the next chapter will be the aftermath of this taking place at Hogwarts. Thank you so much for reading and please review! Your feedback helps me improve and fix things or makes me realize I'm not writing this for nothing. So please review** **See you all later!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey everyone! So as you can see, I am uploading like I promised ;) This chapter isn't going to be too long; it's basically going to go on about the aftermath of the last chapter from Remus's POV and Sirius's POV. Oh and reminder: new chapters will be posted every Wednesday for now on. Anyway, enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: You know I own none of JK Rowling's stuff so let's move on shall we**

* * *

 **Chapter 8: After Hogsmeade**

 **Remus POV**

Remus felt all kinds of things rushing through his head as Lily dragged him away. Sadness, Anger, Embarrassment, but also a bit of happiness that Sirius stood up for him when he was at his lowest, when he couldn't stand up for himself. Everything was so blurry and Lily bolted at top speed with her hand in his. When they stopped, he noticed that they were at the carriages.

"What…" Remus started to say, but she pulled him into the closest one and slammed it shut. She sat across from him and she looked at him with an expression that broke his heart. Her face eyes were red and bloodshot from, all her crying. She was panting and shaking because of all the running and her usual light kind self was sad and miserable.

"Lily I'm so sorry that he ruined today for you. If I had known..." Remus trailed. He didn't know what to say. Lily gave him a sad smile and grasped his hand.

"It's okay Remus, I'm not mad at you. It's not your fault. It's James Bloody Potter's fault. He was a complete arse with this date to begin with and then the way he was treating you? He crossed the bloody line and I refuse to take that. Your my friend and he doesn't get to treat you any different than he does me" she huffed. Her eyes were still red but she wasn't crying anymore.

Remus nodded and they fell silent. Remus turned and looked outside the window. Students began piling up in carriages and there's was about to move, taking them away from this treacherous village.

"I'm sorry your second time at Hogsmeade was a bust. I really wanted you to have fun. Well, anyways it seemed like you did a lot of the time" Lily said with a chuckle, looking out the window as well. Remus raised his eyebrow and looked at her

"What do you mean?" he asked clueless. However, he had a feeling about what she meant.

"I saw the way you were looking at Sirius and the way he was looking at you. You obviously fancy him and he fancies you. It was quite cute. The only entertaining part about today was seeing you act that way" she smiled. It made him happy that she was smiling but not that it was over the fact that she knew about his crush on Sirius.

"Act like what?" he asked curiously, interested and afraid of how he had been acting around Sirius..

"Like how a girl acts when she really likes a guy. Blushing, stuttering, and watching you like a bloody stalker" she laughed. Remus laughed too.

"So is it true? Do you like him that way? Do you like guys that way?" Lily asked curiously.

Remus looked at her, He couldn't lie. She was his first real friend and defended him all the time. He owed her this, even if she thought differently of him afterward. He nodded his head and looked down, ashamed.

What he wasn't expecting was Lily to come over to him and throw her arms around him.

"I'm so happy for you" she beamed. He smiled and wrapped him arms around her, feeling himself tear up. After a minute, she pulled back and sat next to him.

"I am so happy that you've embraced this part of yourself Remus, Not many would. You're also extremely adorable so that kind of helps" she laughed.

"Lilyyyyyy" he moaned with a protesting tone, but he laughed too. The pair of them just laughed and Remus felt extremely light. When they stopped, Lily smiled and put her head on his shoulder. He leaned into it and they sat there, just smiling and thinking.

"Who would've thought we would both be attracted to some Slytherin bad boys?" Lily sighed.

"It's like a Slytherdor Romance" Remus chuckled. Lil started howling in laughter and the pair spent the rest of the drive laughing about everything and nothing, including their love for the two Slytherin boys back in Hogsmeade.

* * *

 **Sirius POV (warning for strong language)**

Sirius watched as Lily dragged Remus away from them. Remus's amber eyes locked with his before they disappeared into the crowd. Sirius ran a hand though his hair and sighed. He looked at James, who was glaring at him.

"Is this it? You're going to choose that Nancy over me" James spat. Sirius shoved him back in anger. "Don't. Don't you fucking dare James" he warned.

"Didn't take you as a Nancy too huh mate" James laughed dangerously. Sirius was getting angry.

"I mean I thought you two were just becoming good friends. The way you were hanging out. I really didn't care because he was Lily's friend and I respect Lily's friends. But bloody hell, you've known him not even for that long and when they call him gay you punch one of your best mates. Not just Jason, but me. _ME_ Sirius? Since when do we let girls-or in this case guys-get between us?" James bellowed.

Sirius was quiet for a minute, his anger slowly fading into guilt.

"You like him don't you? Not just as a friend" James states like it's a fact.

"No…yes…wait! Well I don't know. I know I feel something for him, I just don't know what exactly. And I feel defensive towards him. You see him, he barely talk and he keeps to himself. When I look at him, it's different then what I see in those stupid fan girls. He's different, he interests he." Sirius sighed. He and James just looked at each other.

James expression softened. "Mate, I didn't know…" he trailed off with a sad, guilty expression of his face.

"What the fuck was all that about the Shrieking Shack? Why were you pressuring him?" Sirius yelled.

James thought for a minute and finally responded. "After what we talked about earlier, I was just so fucking angry about the date and I wanted him to feel humiliated so I just touched a sensitive nerve " he explained.

"That wasn't fair, you know…you know he hates the shack" he said quietly. James nodded.

"He isn't going to tell you mate. I mean, we know because of what we heard but no one else knows. He's private, like you said" James explained.

"I know that and I'm not going to make him tell me" Sirius snapped. James went silent.

They were quiet for a minute. "So are you going to try to make him fancy you?" James asked

Sirius looked at him. "I don't think it'll take much. From the way you two were looking at each other and acting around each other, I wouldn't be surprised if you shagged his brains out by Christmas" James said joked

Sirius than laughed and James did too. They just laughed for a minute and when they stopped, they sat down on a nearby bench.

"I…I never knew you played both sides. You never showed it" James explained. Sirius was quiet, looking out into the distance, before answering.

"In the summer, Mum and Dad brought home this boy. He stayed with us for a little since his parents were traveling or whatever. He was gay too. We became friends. One night we were walking around and he just…he kissed me. And I kissed back. I don't know why but he said he knew I was gay when I didn't know it myself. He told me to embrace it and not to shy away from it. So ever since school started, instead of watching the girls with their arses and tits, I've been watching the guys with their…well you know. Anyways I noticed a lot of guys and even got with a few. But none of them were like Remus, even since I spoke to him in the library. I knew he was gay the second I looked at him. He's too sensitive and he has the look. He interested me and today, just showed everything about how I feel about him" Sirius finished with huge sigh.

James turned to him and they were quiet for a minute. "Mate, w-why didn't you tell me" he asked, sounding kind of hurt.

"The same reason I didn't tell anyone else. I didn't want to be judged" he stated.

James looked at him with shock. "That's bullshit. You know I would never judge you. You're my best mate. We've been through everything together and I…I would never fucking judge you, no matter what" James stated seriously. Sirius nodded.

"We don't have to hug or anything girly right?" James asked. Sirius busted out laughing and James did too.

"We need to head back to school so you can go tell your lover how much you loooove him" James said, making kissy faces as they stood up and walked through the village.

"Sod off! And no I'm not, not yet anyways. Maybe soon but for now, I think he needs to recover from that attack you just gave him. Speaking of which, how are you going to solve that Lily issue?" he asked.

"I don't really know right now but I need to apologize for today, to her and to Remus. I was terrible and even if she doesn't want to see me right now, I want her to know I'm sorry. Maybe later on, I'll work on getting her back to fancying me" James said thoughtfully.

Sirius nodded and looked up. The sky was a bright orange with a tinge of yellow as the sun began to set. James and Sirius talked and headed back to the carriage in hoped of going back to the castle and recovering from what today brought them.

* * *

 **So that's it! I hoped you enjoyed the Sirius and James thing. I've really wanted to do a Sirius POV for a while but I didn't know where to fit it. Oh and did you see where I put the "Slytherdor Romance?" It was a last minute thing and I find it really funny. If you want more Sirius POVs or a Lily or James POV, please let me know! Have a lovely Wednesday folks! Please Review** **Bye !**


	8. Chapter 8

**I HAVE FINALLY WRITTEN A CHAPTER! I'M SORRY I DID NOT WRITE IT IN APRIL LIKE I PROMISED BUT I GOT ONE DOWN! I have a whole schedule for getting this story written so thank you to the people who wrote to me and kind of encouraged me to continue! Again, sorry for the wait and I hope you enjoy this chapter and if you have suggestions or anything of the sorts, leave a review or PM me :)**

* * *

As the morning went on, Remus was constantly squinting, trying to focus on whatever textbook he was reading. However his eyes, like they did every morning, drifted off to a particular gray eyed Slytherin. He eventually gave up on his book and picked up his tea, gently slurping it and letting his mind wander.

It has been 3 weeks since the "Disaster at Hogsmeade", which is what Lily called it, and things have changed a little. First off, Sirus has been avoiding him. At least, that's what he thinks is happening. His interactions with him were limited to nods or just plain ignoring each other. And it was usually Sirius who initiated it. This sent a pang of hurt in Remus, especially when he was plain out ignored. _"What did I do wrong?_ " he would always ask himself. His mind kept going back to the confrontation James had with him and he wondered if maybe James knew about his "condition" and told Sirius. Every time he came to that conclusion he held on to something for a minute and tried to control his breathing, fear completely taking over.. He knew that if Sirius found out, he would hate him and possibly tell his family, who were famous, wealthy, and haters of anyone who wasn't pureblooded. And that thought scared him.

Speaking of James, where he stood with him wasn't as complicated. In fact, a few days after the disaster at Hogsmeade, he and Remus had a conversation, in which James sort of apologized.

 _It had happened as he left to the library after some brief studying. He was walking out and as he turned a corner WHAM! James had slammed right into him and all his books fell on the floor in front of him._

" _Shit" James mumbled. He looked at Remus with wide eyes and panted heavily. "Must've been trying to get somewhere" Remus presumed in his head. Remus got down to grab his books and James picked up a few and handed them to him. As he did, James was watching him closely, which made Remus keep his head down._

" _I um…I wanted to say something to you" James said in an unsure voice. Remus finally looked up and saw him trying to form words._

" _Okay" Remus said as an indication to go on._

" _What I said...at Hogsmeade…it was shitty and out of line. Why you don't want to go to the shack in none of my business and of course I kind of just, ignored that. I guess I did it because I was worried about Sirius. You guys were terribly close that day and I worried about what people would take away from that so I tried pushing you away. I thought I was helping him but clearly from his reaction I know I just fucked everything up so I'm sorry for that."_

 _Remus stared for a second, trying to read his expression. When he could see that this was truth and not some prank he nodded lightly at him and pursed his lips together "It's alright. I mean, you were trying to help him and uh, I wouldn't hurt him. He was really cool that day and…" he trailed off, losing whatever train of thought he was on. James was nodding, indicating that he understood so Remus just shut his mouth. They stood in silence for a while._

" _So are we all good?" James asked._

" _Yeah all good"_

 _James smiled and clapped him on the shoulder. "Alright cool. I got to go so I'll see ya around Remus." He turned and disappeared down the hallway. Remus watched him go and then made his way to Gryffindor dormitories._

Along with James, his interactions with Lily were okay as well. She often came to him for just light talk or came to him unloading all of her problems. Whether it was school, James or home, she spoke to him about it. She also asked him about how things were going with Sirius and tried getting him them to talk. A few days ago, she actually shoved him into Sirius in the hall which resulted in him falling on top of him along with a bunch of mumbling and blushing. He didn't talk to her for 3 days after that.

He did still feel kind of guilty around her, since he was keeping such a big secret from her. She was the first person to show any actual interest in him or be his friend and he wanted to tell her, but the secret is buried so deep inside that he's not ready to let it out and share.

At the moment as he carefully watched him, a blob of red hair and Gryffindor colors blocked his sight

"You know where staring will get you? Nowhere" she casually remarked, plucking a treacle tart off his plate and eating it. He rolled his eyes and took a bite of his uneaten toast.

"Oh come on Remus, you won't know how he feels until you actually talk to him. Or at least attempt to." She cocked her head and gave him the "What are you waiting for?" look. He sighed, bit his lip and then looked at her.

"Look Lil, I… I want to talk to him, okay? But how can I if he doesn't want to to speak to me? Every time we interact he makes it clear he doesn't want to talk to me. What happened at Hogsmeade was a onetime thing and I'm not counting on it ever happening again." Saying this made his insides twist because while he believed what he said, he wished so hard that he was wrong. Lily sighed and gave him a sad look.

"Well I have hope and you should too. If he doesn't pull through, he is the biggest idiot in the world. I got to get going but I'll see you tonight." She rubbed his shoulder and walked off. He watched her walk off and turned his head back straight ahead, just to be locking eyes with a particular stormy gray pair. Sirius had been watching them and now he was only staring at Remus.

Remus opened and closed his mouth and they just watched each other. Sirius' expression was stony and kind of guarded, like he was holding something in and trying to appear hardcore. Remus raised his eyebrows, trying to signal that he is concerned and Sirius looked like he was going to resound until suddenly the bell rang and there were people blocking the view. He stood up quick and tried to catch his eyes again but Sirius was speed walking as fast as he could out of the Great Hall, leaving Remus wondering _"What is going on with him?"_

XxXxXxXxXxxX

It was late when Remus finally left the library and he felt very stuffy. His head was also a little out of it, probably because of the full moon due in a few days. He decided to clear his thoughts with some fresh air. He used a passage he found back in his 4th year, when he wants to be alone at night, and headed through there into the night.

Since it was now November, the air had a very cool and crisp sort of feeling. The moon shined brightly in the sky and reflected off the lake. He looked at the moon with pain. While people saw the moon as beautiful or big, he saw it as the thing that made living the hardest thing to do in the world. After giving it one last hard glare, he made his way over to his favorite tree by the lake.

As he got closer, his vision was clearer and he saw someone already there. From what he could make out of the person, they had dark hair, a long coat, and clouds of smoke going up in front of them. Remus decided to leave this person to their privacy but as he tried to walk away silently, he stepped on a twig which made a loud SNAP. He looked at the branch and back at the person, who whirled their head around, a wand in one hand and a cigarette in another.

And, of course, that person was Sirius.

He was hard to make out in the night but he could see the dark hair framing his face and the ruffles on his shirt and coat. His eyes looked very woozy and confused, and smoke puffs were subtly releasing from his nose and mouth and whisking into nothing through the night sky. Sirius observed him and after a minute, he seemed to figure out who it was.

"Remus?" he asked it a rough, scratchy voice.

"Yeah, err, it's me."

Sirius nodded and turned back around. "You can sit here if you'd like"

Remus walked over and sat next to him, taking in the strong smell of cologne and cigarettes. He looked out at the lake and just let his mind go quiet, subtly peeking at Sirius, who was taking another drag. He ran a hand through his hair and it was kind of peaceful for a moment.

"Needed a moment to think? Sirius suddenly asked.

Remus pursed his lips and focused on the strands of grass in front of his feet.

"Yeah, I just needed to clear my head. You too?"

"Yeah, lots I need to clear out of my mind."

They were silent for a moment and suddenly Remus blurted out without thinking "Do you hate me?" The minute it came out he froze.

Sinus removed his cigarette and looked at Remus. "W-why would you think that?" he asked.

Remus looked at him anxiously and tried to form words to say without sounding idiotic. "It's just…you have been ignoring me for the past 3 weeks and then we were staring at each other today and you ran from the hall and I don't know, I feel like I did something wrong"

Sirius kept staring at him, trying to come up with a response. When he found one, his expression softened a little.

"Listen I…I promise I am not avoiding you because I want to and I do not hate you! My reasoning for not speaking to you has much more to do with my family. I am not supposed to be seen with you and when I was, they weren't particularly happy about that." Remus had a hurt expression on his face but quickly covered it up.

"Anyways, after some threatening and …other stuff, I had to keep a low profile and not really be seen interacting with you, unless I wanted the bloody Slytherins to confess it to my parents. Frankly, I don't give two shits about them, but I really don't want lots of trouble right now." Sirius began trembling a little and Remus lightly touched his knee before pulling away.

Sirius composed himself and looked him right in the eye. "Remus I…I want to be your friend. I think your cool and after hanging out with you at Hogsmeade, I felt a connection with you that I haven't felt in a while. Like, I don't know, you are the type of person I need in my life. Someone who is different and makes me look at things…differently. God I hope I don't sound like a creep. But anyways, it will be kind of hard to be friends too openly but maybe we could hang out like this? James could even come sometimes and Lily if you'd like. I understand if you don't want to, I know it's not really fair to make you hide this.''

Remus was quiet for a moment and while he felt like he made his choice already, a part of him is saying not to do this and that he will get hurt. He decided to go with his gut feeling and gave Sirius a small smile.

"Yeah, I'd like to be your friend. It might be kind of limited but I'm not a huge fan of other people anyway" he chuckled. Sirius, for the first time he has seen since Hogsmeade, smiled

"So…friends?" He stuck out his hand it and Remus shook it and laughed.

"Friends,"

Sirius looked brighter than he has since Hogsmeade. His bags were still there and his eyes were red and tired but his smile made that all kind of fade and he looked like the same boy Remus fell for. They both sat there for a while, looking out at the lake and relishing in each other's company, both thinking about what could be in store for this new found friendship.

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 **That's all for this chapter! I'll have another one up on Saturday. Have a great day:)**


	9. Chapter 9

**So I said I'd upload Saturday but I was really sick so I just got around to editing. This chapter explores a kind of darker, more serious part of Sirius that I had in mind for this story. It has minor mentions of child abuse and kind of angst but I threw in some loving. I am not 100% sure how I feel about this chapter so please review and let me know what you think. I'll hopefully have a new chapter up in the next few days. Enjoy ;).**

 ***I stopped naming the chapters because I have no names for them :)**

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As Sirius was heading back inside after a long night with Remus, he couldn't help but smile. For the last few minutes of their time together, Sirius had tackled him to the ground which resulted in lots of shameless giggling. Sirius couldn't get Remus' laugh out of his head, which was one of the sweetest things he ever heard and it made him feel at ease and calm, two things he usually never felt.

It has been almost a month since they became friends and it has been the best month he's had in a while. They would mostly wait until late at night after everyone fell asleep and then sneak through Remus' secret passageway so they wouldn't get caught. When they were outside they would talk about all kinds of things. About themselves, school (mostly Remus), Quidditch (mostly Sirius) and just a bunch of nonsense that seemed so interesting at the time.

Sirius enjoyed hearing Remus speak because he always lit up when he spoke, especially when he was passionate about the topic, and he always did the smallest things that were actually adorable, a word Sirius never used but seemed appropriate to describe him. Like how he always fiddled with the hem of his sweatshirt, ran a hand through his caramel brown hair, rub his nose while he was talking, or bit his lip while trying to think of a response, which was Sirius' personal favorite. These things made Sirius like him more and more and sometimes, he questioned his feelings, as if they were becoming more than just friendship.

Sirius had begun looking forward to these nights they spent together and wished they could spend more time together throughout the day. He hated seeing him all the time and not being able to go talk to him like friends usually do. He was the first person besides James that he actually felt relatively comfortable with. James was also the only person who knew and always covered for Sirius when their roommates occasionally asked where he was. No one has confronted him about it so James must be doing a good job keeping it under wraps. When he finally got into his dorm, he slipped straight into bed and felt sleep taking over his body. As it did, his mind wandered to what Remus was doing right now.

XxXxxXxxXxx

As Sirius ate breakfast the next morning, he tried to sneak glances at Remus as much as he could. Remus was sitting alone with the Daily Prophet in one hand and a cup of tea in the other. His eyes were slowly gliding the pages and as the cup touched his lips, Sirius couldn't help but stare at them. He found himself staring at Remus a lot during the day, even though he should but he couldn't help it. Times like these made him think even more about how his relationship with him is developing.

Sirius snapped out of his thoughts and looked back at Remus, just to see that he was staring back. He raised an eyebrow, probably noticing that Sirius was staring, and smiled lightly. Sirius responded by wiggling his brows and flashing his signature smirk, which he knew always amused him. Remus blushed and chuckled to himself before going back to his newspaper, biting his lip. This made Sirius bit his own lip and think about biting Remus'…when suddenly he felt a slap on the side of his head.

"Ouch" he groaned. He looked to his side and saw James looking at him weirdly. "The hell was that for?"

James raised an eyebrow at him. "Well you know it's not like your very obviously drooling over Remus from afar and almost got caught by a Slytherin. Just me slapping your head for fun."

Sirius blushed and looked down at his plate, realizing that he wasn't hungry so he just listened to what everyone else was saying, until something some Slytherin girl was saying caught his attention.

"I hear the Dark Lord is beginning to round up followers and that once were out of Hogwarts, we will all join him as Death Eaters. Seriously can't wait to finally be amongst our own instead of here with these dirty mudbloods and halfbloods."

This made Sirius' heart skip and start shaking a little. His hands were clammy and gripped the bench hard to keep steady. He heard James ask him something but he didn't hear the exact words.

''I need the loo" Sirius muttered and sped walk out of the great hall, ignoring the distant calls form James.

XxXxxXxxXxx

As he entered the bathroom, he launched himself into the first stall and threw up everything into the toilet. Once he did, he wiped his mouth, flushed and sat down against the metal, cool wall and breathed in and out. He hated when this happened. When someone brought up Voldemort. It reminded him that after Hogwarts, they would force Sirius to stand with him, despite the fact that he had no desire to. Him and James planned on making a run for it once they left school but Sirius couldn't help but worry about what could go wrong, like his parents, who would force him to Voldemort and iron the dark mark into his arm themselves.

Whenever he imagines this, he becomes completely different, more weary and depressed, which was exactly how he felt at the moment. That fear of losing himself to the dark side was actually fucking frightening. He just wanted to reach into a deep dark corner where Voldemort couldn't reach for him. As he began getting more control of his breathing, he heard someone enter and guessed that it was James, which it was.

"Sirius? Mate I was worried when you left. You alright?" he walked around the bathroom to find his stall. Sirius stood and opened the door to look at him. James stopped moving and gave Sirius a once over.

"I'm fine" he simply said, honestly not believing the words himself.

James rolled his eyes. "Oh, that's bullshit. I'm your best friend, I know when you're okay or not."

Sirius knew that. James was the only person who knew him inside and out. Knew his favorite foods, what he liked, what he disliked, that he longed to be Gryffindor instead of Slytherin just to spite his parents; that the scars and bruises that he had when he first came to school came firsthand from his lovely family; that Sirius was trying to hold it together but felt everything just falling apart.

Sires took in a long breath. "I don't know I just…I just needed a minute. Hearing them talk about Voldemort…'' He sighed and felt tears in his eyes and James automatically understood. He wrapped his arms around Sirius and Sirius relaxed for a moment. He and James never really hugged but there were times where Sirius really needed that close contact and James was always there to give it.

After a moment, the bell for their first class rang and, after James assured Sirius was ready to go even though he wasn't full okay, headed out to their first class.

XxXxxXxxXxx

Throughout the day, Sirius' mood didn't improve one bit. These days didn't come too often luckily but when they did, he wasn't his usual quirky, cheery self and was very short with people. He would snap at teachers (usually getting him a detention), students and friends and not really care that much. He even did this to James but he knew Sirius meant none of it so, being the good friend he is, he just took and told him to just take deep breaths.

Despite being in this mood, he still watched Remus, who watched him. Every time Remus looked at him, he gave him a sad look with lots of concern. Sirius did his best to avoid him because while James knew he meant none of what he said and was just hurt, Remus didn't know him quite as well and he really didn't know what he'd do if he hurt him. He also felt hesitant about going tonight since it will result in him either snapping at Remus, or breaking down in front of him.

As Sirius was walking back to his dorms, he tried to cheer himself up by thinking about what he could call his feelings for Remus He liked him a lot and felt a connection with him but everything was so grey in a moment he wished it was all black and white. He told this to James as they sat in their dorm room discussing it.

"Well based on what you told me, I think you like him. Like, 'more than a friend. I want to make out with you all day' like" He chuckled at what he said but Sirius just stared.

"I mean, from the way you were at Hogsmeade and the last month together, you two definitely have some strong chemistry and I doubt that Remus doesn't feel something for you as well."

Sirius tried wrapping his head around this. "So, do I tell him?"

"Well, yeah. I mean, just act subtle, ease him into the idea of it and see how he responds. Then just go from here."

James said this as if it was that easy. He didn't know if he'd be okay if Remus rejected him because he knew it would affect their friendship and then from there things will happen and it will all go to shit.

"Okay well why don't you think about it while I go see Slughorn on some potions assignment?"

Sirius didn't acknowledge what he said and when he was ready to ask James something, he was closing the room door.

Sirius sighed and put his hands atop his head, thinking of how he should approach these new found feelings. As he kept thinking, someone came through the door and it wasn't James. It was one of the reasons he hated Slytherin house and one of the reasons he can't see Remus, It was Severus Snape.

''Black." he scoffed, gliding across the room to his bed. Sirius planned to ignore him until he left but of course Snape had to open his big mouth.

"I've noticed you and Lupin spent less time together but still send each other looks. I can't help but wonder if this is something I should report to your brother, who reports it to…well you know who" he snarled.

Sirius mind was much occupied and didn't feel like having any form of conversation with Snape. "Go fuck yourself" he said simply. He didn't want to argue at the moment.

"Now now, you know your parent have me, Bella and the rest of our year watching you to see if you're mingling with some half-blood dirty menace. And I know you wouldn't want them knowing you are bringing down the Black line, especially with the rumors of Voldemort's rise" he said slowly.

For some reason, Sirius got so angry and grabbed him by the lapels of his robe and slammed him into the wall.

"First of all, shut the hell up about Remus. You don't know him; you don't know a damn thing. And second, go tell my parents all you fucking want. I'm not with them or Voldemort. Even if Remus and I _were_ talking, it's none of your business and what my parents throw at me, I can take, so fuck out of my life and what I do you bloody slime ball."

Snape looked furious and ran out of the dorm. Sirius was distraught and felt better letting out his emotions. He knew he shouldn't have done that and what he said wouldn't be taken lightly but he honestly didn't give any shits at the moment. Right now, he just wanted to imagine what it would be like if he told Remus and Remus said yes. How far they would go. Holding hands, giggling more, getting to kiss Remus under the moonlight and just be…together. He let those thoughts occupy his kind and after a while, unfortunately without meeting Remus that night, he fell into a deep slumber

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 **Hope you enjoyed! Please review and have a good day :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**New chapter here! This chapter explores some themes that I personally relate to a lot in my life (being trapped in your own head, loneliness, etc) and I just felt like it would be something they could relate to because of their positions but, that's just me. I hope your satisfied with this chapter and please review for suggestions or just comments!**

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Remus' eyes were scanning the Great Hall, once again, looking for Sirius. They hadn't spoken in about a week since he was acting weird and blew him, off at night.

He was worried about him and every time he tried asking, he just pretends he hadn't heard or saw him. Remus had gone out every night since then, hoping he would come so they could talk. But he never did come.

He worried that maybe this is his fault. That perhaps, he was doing what his mum told him not to do and getting close to people (" _If you get too close and they find out what you are, it won't end well for either of you") ._ He had too many problems and there were too many precautions and it was complicated to be friend's altogether and he knew that he had to end this before he got hurt. His feelings for Sirius were growing like a rapidly growing plant and he wanted to shove that away in the sake of their friendship.

But every time he saw Sirius smile or just simply look at him, he felt selfish and let his needs cloud his judgment. Remus swirled the spoon around in his oatmeal and thought more about consequences. What if others found out? It could ruin him, but Sirius even worse. And what if they knew what Remus was? Then Sirius and the whole world would hate him and throw him into a dungeon where he'd be cuffed by his wrists and bleeding and crying until death swallowed him whole.

Remus snapped out of his thoughts and tried to focus on the present. He hated when his mind wandered so far that it almost pushed him over the edge. He had no one to pull him out ( _Lily didn't really sit with him at meals, they usually hung out in the library or common room_ ) so it was up to him to bring himself back. He suddenly looked up and saw what he had been looking for.

Sirius was walking into the Great Hall, with James close next to him. They were having a private conversation and when Sirius looked up, his eyes connected with Remus. He set his poon down and simply stared. This was the first full on eye contact they have had in a week. He didn't know what to do or understand what was happening. Sirius looked so sad that it hit Remus close in the heart. He had such sadness in his eyes, it made him wonder what could be so bad to change him like this. James grabbed Sirius and then they both walked out of the Great Hall, leaving Remus confused and hurt.

XxxXxxXxx

As Remus was walking to charms, he felt someone hit his shoulders and knock his books down. He huffed and turned around, expecting to see some Slytherin boys laughing and running away but instead he saw Sirius, on the ground grabbing his books. Remus just blinked and stood like a statue, watching him pick up his books. Sirius then stood back up, handed him his books and looked right at him, sighing.

"I've been…off. Which you probably already know but just…please come tonight? I will explain as much as I can"

Remus took a good look at him and saw that Sirius looked worn. His eyes had heavy bags and his stormy grey eyes were becoming a dull, sad color. He bit his lip and nodded. Sirius nodded as well and then turned quickly and disappeared down a corner. Once he was gone, he gathered his books and continued hos route to Charms, wondering how tonight is really going to go.

XxxXxxXxx

As Remus slipped outside, it was really dark. The sky was pitching black and moon wasn't very visible behind the clouds. He grabbed his wand out his pocket and muttered " _Lumos"_ so he could find his way. When he found there spot, Sirius was already siting there. He cleared his throat and Sirius turned around. He looked at him and smiled.

"Hey." he muttered, moving a small branch between his fingers.

"Hi."

Remus walked over next to him and put out his light with a quiet " _Knox."_ He, out of habit, sat close to Sirius and breathed him in, something that always comforted him since he usually smelt like rich cologne and vanilla. He smelt the same but it was very light and mixed in with the smell of metal and blood. Remus inhaled sharply and just watched Sirius play around with the branch with a neutral expression. It was about five minutes later that Sirius broke the silence.

"So I do really want to talk to you but first, I want to try something." His fingers were shaking a little and Remus frowned.

"Okay…I trust you" Remus assured him.

Sirius then looked into his eyes and just looked at him. There was sadness, but also need and want. Remus bit his lip, waiting for what Sirius was going to try. When he finally came to his senses, Sirius moved towards him, cupped one of his cheeks and planted his lips on his.

Remus froze for a second, slowly processing what was going on, which was that Sirius Black, his crush for so long, was kissing him. Sirius was moving his lips slowly and gently against Remus', showing that he can stop whenever. He finally gained some courage and parted his lips and kissed him back.

Sirius gently cupped his cheek and licked his lower lip, seeking entrance. He gave it to him and their kiss was slow but hard and there was tongue and soft moaning coming from both. He felt the tears falling from Sirius' face and pulled him closer so that their bodies were pressed together.

Remus sought out his hair and threaded his fingers through the silky, black locks, so much softer than he ever imagined. Sirius traced his arm up top his hair and intertwined their hands. After lots of thorough making out, Sirius gently pulled away and they rested their foreheads together, breathing slowly.

Sirius slowly pulled away from him and sat back, keeping their fingers intertwined. "I want to explain that kiss and everything else but first, can you just um…" He looked uncomfortable and lost for words and somehow he knew what he needed and pulled him close. Sirius exhaled and let his head drop on his chest. He muttered a soft "thank you" and Remus responded by hugging him tighter. He would never usually be the one to initiate contact since he was far too shy but with Sirius, for some reason, it seemed very natural.

They stayed like that for a few minutes until Sirius finally pulled away. "I'm going to tell you now okay? Please don't interrupt just…listen" Remus nodded and Sirius told him.

He told him about everything. He told him about how he is worried about Voldemort. About his shit faced parents (not too much about the abuse but enough for him to get an idea), about hating Slytherin house because it doesn't feel like him. About constantly being trapped in his head and wishing for a way out. About not having anyone but James to talk to, and just feeling like his world is spinning him over and over again.

"As for the kiss, well I've wanted to do that for a while and I really like you and wanted to show you best way I knew how, which wasn't with words"

Remus stayed quiet for the whole confession and when it was over, he instinctively wrapped his arms around Sirius. He rubbed his back and tucked his nose into his shoulder and breathed him in slowly. Sirius, who always craved this contact, just melted into the hug.

"Sirius I…I'm not great with advice, honestly I'm not. But I know some of what you mean. Having such a…terrible thing happen to you and feeling trapped, especially in your head. You deserve better than your parents and I'm so sorry and y-you're not alone"

Sirius froze at Remus' words and felt so much warmth in his heart from those words. Just a few simple sentences that meant much more to him than Remus knew. He pulled away and a stray tear fell down his face, which Remus gently wiped away.

He then pushed Remus gently on the ground and attacked him with another kiss. This one wasn't as long but it was filled with emotion and promise. The promise that as friends or as lovers, they won't have to feel so trapped all the time.

As Sirius pulled away, he looked into Remus' amber eyes and gave him an earnest smile.

"T-thank you…so much" he whispered, his eyes becoming glassy and his vision unclear.

Remus stared up at him and gave him shy smile and Sirius came down and pulled him into his arms and they lay there, basking in the presence of each other and knowing that they are not really alone.

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 **This was me diving into the really emotional deep stuff so hope you liked! Hope you also liked the kiss scene! I hope it wasn't bad cause its my first real descriptive kiss scene so I had to kind of think hard on that. I'll have another chapter up hopefully on Thursday. Have a great day :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**New chapter! You finally get to see how Sirius finds out about his "secret". Hope you enjoy and please review :)**

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Sirius was the happiest he has been in the longest time. The last time he remembered feeling some of this type of happiness was when James became his best friend so many years ago. This happiness was, obviously, caused by Remus Lupin.

It's been a few weeks since he started to, somewhat secretly, date Remus and it's been utterly amazing. It's all amazing besides the part that they couldn't be "together" in public. Sirius didn't know if he should let that fact fly around the school with the Slytherins keeping such a close eye on him and Remus was not ready to come out as gay yet, which Sirius respected.

At night, however, it was all different. They would spend it either cuddling on the grass and just nuzzling and giving each other kisses, just sitting with one's head on the others shoulder and talking about their day, or they'd just roll around in the grass giving each other lazy kisses and smiling like idiots.

Sirius was very fearless at times and when he had the chance and was subtle, he would walk past Remus and brush his fingers against his skin lightly. This always made Remus blush and crave for more touch. It was truly an adorable thing to see when Remus blushed.

Another thing Sirius loved about their relationship was that he could tell Remus anything. He always had something on his mind and Remus always knew how to coax it out, whether it was running a hand through his hair, nuzzling his neck,

Being around him also made Remus come of out his comfort zone and was less shy around him, something Sirius appreciated.

But he knew something was up with him. He was a little flustered sometimes and looked kind of distant at times. Sirius decided to ignore it at first, since it could just pass. But it seemed to affect him a lot more than he thought so Sirius decided to call him out on it.

"Is everything okay?" Sirius asked from his

Remus paused from ruffling his hair for a second but then continued. "What do you mean?"

Sirius sat up and looked at Remus. "I mean that you seem off. It's been happening for the last few days. What's up?" He asked softly,

Remus looked him in the eye and he was trying to seem composed but his lower lip was trembling and his hands were shaking a little. He looked down at his lap, sighed, and then faced Sirius again.

"Yes, I am off. The thing is... I have um, a secret. A secret I have never told anyone. A secret I want to share with you, however if I do, I might lose you. I will tell you, eventually, but I just need some time." When he finished he studied Sirius' expression.

Sirius stared at him with a frown.

"I-I didn't want to lie to you. I can't lie to you Sirius"

Sirius didn't say anything, but realized that Remus has been alone for so long that this could be hard. It could be hard being able to open up to someone about a secret that's probably a strong one. He knew that feeling all too well so instead of trying to pry it out of him, he pulled Remus close, gave him a peck on the check and let him lay on his shoulder.

"That's okay. I understand, really I do. Secrets can be little shits sometimes. I would like to know but…only when you're read. I will be there and I'll listen. And you won't lose me, I promise. You're stuck with my stubborn arse for a while longer". While Sirius seemed like he was joking, he meant it. He meant it because Remus losing him is him losing Remus and he just didn't want to let go of him yet.

Remus chuckled softly and mumbled something that sounded like " _okay"_. Sirius turned his head and placed a soft kiss in his fluffy, caramel hair and they stared out at the moon.

"Full moon should be here any day now" Sirius muttered.

Remus held in a breath for a second, one Sirius didn't notice, and then exhaled. "Yeah…I guess it is"

XxxXxxXxx

The next day, Sirius didn't see Remus at breakfast. He found this odd because for as long as he knew him, he was always there very early. The spot where he sat was vacant and the only ones around there were some other Gryffindor students that he never paid attention to.

Remus not being there made his feel very unsettled. "He _could be_ late" he thought. But Remus never was…late. He did seem tired yesterday so he could have slept in a little and was on his way down. Sirius kept playing with his fork and watching the spot until James thwacked him.

"You okay?" he asked.

Sirius grumbled for the thwacking but nodded into Remus' direction.

James frowned. "He isn't here yet?" Sirius nodded.

"Maybe he is just late" James mumbled, going back to his toast.

"He's never late" Sirius muttered darkly.

"Alright maybe he skipped breakfast. He's probably studying in the library as we speak. Don't get too worked up mate, you'll get frown lines" he joked.

Sirius cracked a smile and shoved him, lightly muttering "tosser." Despite what James said, he watched the spot till the end of breakfast, silently wondering where he could be.

XxxXxxXxx

Sirius tried to let it go since it was just breakfast but got concerned all over again when he missed all his lessons today and lunch. Sirius was 100% ready to storm Gryffindor Tower and talk to him. Luckily, he saw a boy Remus often worked with in class and went up to him.

"Hey you know Remus right?" he asked.

The boy was pudgy, had his hair all stuck up, and looked flustered and frightened of him. Sirius rolled his eyes. "U-um yeah. I mean, yes I do." The boy was wringing his fingers together and acted very awkward.

"Have you seen him? Is he alright?" he asked.

The boy was still scared but managed a reply. "He um, actually wanted me to tell you that he won't be able to tutor you tonight apparently? He is really not feeling so good and is not allowed to leave. He said he'll be fine in a few days and will 'Tell you soon', whatever that m-means". Sirius stared opened mouthed at him and the boy just moved past him and sped-walk away. Sirius watched on and while he was glad that he knew where he was, he worried for his well being.

XxxXxxXxx

Sirius told James what he learned and he suggested going see Madam Pomfrey. If he was sick, he was most likely with her so that night, Sirius went to the hospital wing to find them. As he went, he saw a glimpse of two people heading toward somewhere and Sirius noticed that Madam Pomfrey was one of them so he followed. He stayed far behind so he wasn't seen but not too far that he couldn't follow.

They went through some hallways, Sirius falling behind a little, until he reached a door, one that was left open. He went to the door and noticed it led outside. As he stayed against the wall and looked, he saw that there was only one person now. He was about to turn and find Madam Pomfrey until he noticed the caramel hair and the Gryffindor robes.

It was Remus.

"Why was he outside if he's sick?" he mumbled quietly. Sirius frowned and walked out to follow him. Remus was walking towards the grounds and he wondered if he was going to wait for their meeting, even though he said it wasn't happening tonight, until he saw that he was going to the Whomping Willow.

"Is he mad?" Sirius wondered. Remus took out his wand and said some spell that stopped the deathly tree. He took this as a chance to get closer to Remus and once he got in, he slipped in a little behind him.

When he stood up, Remus was not there but he realized where they were. The Shrieking Shack.

"Why would he come in here" Sirius muttered to himself. He started to walk around and when he finally saw Remus, he was turned around and stripping. Sirius frowned and was even more confused.

"Remus?" he asked softly.

He froze and turned slowly. "W-what…S-S-Sirius? H-how did you…how do you…?"

He was stammering and sweating, his eyes were bulging and was breathing in and out really fast so Sirius stayed as calm as he could for him.

"I saw you with Madam Pomfrey and some boy in your dorm told me you were sick so I was worried." he explained. "Remus…the hell are you doing out here? Are you even sick?"

Remus looked down and nodded slowly. Sirius was still confused and didn't understand.

"I wanted to tell you after it ended. After I healed. I didn't want you to find out this way. Find out…what I am."

Sirius was still frowning but when Remus suddenly got on the floor and was arching his back, loud racks following, and screaming, Sirius understood and knew what was going on. What his boyfriend was keeping from him.

He is a werewolf.

Remus was yelling at him to run but he was distracted by the whole scene of the change. But when he heard a growl, he felt fear and ran out of the room and out of the shack. He saw the woods and he ran towards them, even though it was stupid since Remus could come out here. But the castle was way too far and he forgot the way they took to get here. Sirius sat behind a large tree and took some breaths.

Once he calmed down, he heard a howl that came from the shack. He bit his lip in fear and waited till it was quiet again. When it was, he let out a strangled sob.

"How could I fucking miss this?" he muttered angrily. He felt light tears fall down his face for being so stupid about not figuring it out sooner and almost dying tonight for it.

Surprisingly, he was okay with it. His parents had always told him that werewolves were abominations and freaks but he never did care for a damn thing they said anyway.

Suddenly the shack made sense. Why he hated going in there. Because it reminded him of this painful change has to endure at every full moon. Sirius tried to think about what he knew on werewolves but his mid drew to a blank. He learned about them in 4th year and that was so long ago that Sirius remembered nothing.

Hours had to have passed and Remus never came out. Sirius was hugging his knees and watching the moon. As his eyes drifted to sleep, he wondered how something that gleamed so bright could cause the person he cared for so much pain.

In the morning, the wind whipped Sirius in the face, waking him up. He rubbed his eyes and squinted, very confused about his location. He then remembered what happened last night. Finding out that Remus was a werewolf.

He sprang up and looked at the Whomping Willow and saw a worn out Remus in the grass. He ran towards him and stopped when he was close. Remus must've heard because he turned his head slowly and saw Sirius.

They stared at each other for a second until Remus' eyes filled with tears and managed to cry out "Sirius" before Sirius ran over and gathered Remus in his arms. That's when Remus began to sob into his shoulder.

Sirius held him close, kissed his hair, and kept murmuring "you're going to be okay" and "I'm sorry" in his ear. Remus shook with painful, heartbreaking sobs and Sirius squeezed him a little lighter and felt tears fall down his face.

Sirius didn't know what to do and he knew that he had to get Remus upstairs and that they needed to talk but for that moment, he just held him, assuring him that he was going to be okay in this cruel, cruel world.

* * *

 **I feel like some of my facts on how to get in the shack are wrong but I was kind of going off what I remember from the book and move. Next chapter they will have to have more talk. Also I think I will write a few more chapters and an epilogue and then end it but I'll let you know what I decide. Hopefully my next chapter is up by Sunday. Have a great Friday guys :)**


	12. Chapter 12

**New chapter! Sirius and Remus are gonna have to confront Remus' secret :0 Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

Sirius was pacing up and down the hallways outside of the hospital wing, waiting for Madam Pomfrey to let him in. He and Remus had waited for a good half hour until she came outside, very shocked to see him, and they went through the secret passageway used last night to get Remus back in to the castle.

When they got him in his bed, Madam Pomfrey told him to wait outside until she was done addressing his wounds and giving him medicine. Since it was around 5 am, no one was awake yet so it was really just him in that hallway. Suddenly, he stopped pacing and slid down against the wall. He grabbed his hair tightly in his hands and tried to think about what he knew.

He knew that Remus is a werewolf. He knew he had some personal issues but he assumed it was depression or shitty parents, which Sirius could relate to and it would be easier to talk about, but a werewolf? It was the last conclusion he could've come to and possibly the scariest.

Sirius only ever heard of one werewolf, Fenrir Greyback. He really didn't know anything about him but he's heard the name mentioned from time to time and that he was a dangerous werewolf. Maybe he was the one who turned Remus? Before he could continue his thinking, Madam Pomfrey came outside the room but instead of opening it so he could go in; she shut it and stood in front him.

"Black, before I let you in to see Mr. Lupin, I have some questions. And Professor Dumbledore will have some as well, I assume"

Sirius gulped. He figured Dumbledore had to know about Remus or he wouldn't be in school but he didn't want to discuss how _he_ knew.

"How did you find out about Mr. Lupin's…condition?"

Sirius gulped again and tried to control the pit in his stomach and his triple speed beating heart. "I…I was looking for him at last night and when I saw you with him, I followed him out till we got to the shack." Madam Pomfrey narrowed eyes and sucked in a sharp breath, seeming very annoyed but still concerned.

"And why were you looking for him? From my understandings, you and Mr. Lupin are from different houses and he has never mentioned you two were friends. Unless you are not and you were doing this for some type of fun!"

Sirius was shocked but not very surprised that she would think this was a prank but he wished she knew that while he threw pranks for fun, he would never bring it this far.

"No no no! This isn't some sort of prank, I swear! We became friends about 2 months ago and….Look if you and Dumbledore are worried I'm going to tell, I won't. I swear on my whole life, on everything... I would never do that to Remus." He sighed and gave her the most sincere look to show that he wasn't lying to her,

When he finished speaking, Madam Pomfrey's gaze softened a little. "Wow. There hasn't been anyone who has showed him that type of…concern and care for him ever. He's lucky to have you I suppose."

Her words made his heart hurt for him. The fact that he's had to live with this secret alone and keep feeling that pain. He could only imagine Remus' position.

After some moments of silence, Madam Pomfrey sighed and opened the door. Sirius nodded towards her and walked in. She led him to the bed but didn't move the curtains just yet.

"He will look different, be very tired kind and various other things since I addressed his wounds and gave him proper medication. Do not overwhelm him or make him strain his body because it will cause him lots of pain. He will have to stay the whole day and if you really want to stay, I can speak to Remus and your head of house and have you excused from classes "

Sirius nodded, indicating he understood what she said, and stared at the curtains. Madam Pomfrey walked around him and lowly pushed open the curtains a few inches.

"I'll be in my office." She grabbed something from Remus' bedside and walked on to her office. Sirius pushed it wider to reveal him.

Sirius walked closer and took time to observe him. His hair, which was usually laid back and fluffy, was sticking up everywhere. He had extremely pale and clammy skin, his warm auburn eyes were sad and sickly, and his arms and legs were covered in scratches and scars. He was wearing a gown so he could only imagine how many littered his torso and his back.

When he saw him, Remus focused his eyes on him and for a moment, it was like all the other times they just simply stared and their eyes would say everything. But seconds later, Remus began to softly cry. Sirius went to the side of his bed, kneeled down and took his hand and put his lips on his knuckle.

"Shh, don't cry, please don't cry" he pleaded, sensing the croaking in his voice.

Remus was sniffling and looking at Remus with eyes pooled with tears and so much pain. Sirius stroked his arm and kept muttering " _it's okay_ " and that he doesn't have to cry.

Remus stared at him and Sirius came closer, planted his lips on his and the kissed him softly. Remus was frozen, but he let out a soft whimper that showed he appreciated it. He slowly pulled away and looked at him again. Remus' eyes were fluttering slowly and a minute later, he was asleep.

Sirius smiled and climbed into the bed next to his and moved it closer. He also pushed the curtain around both beds so they could have privacy. He stayed on his side and watched Remus sleep. He seemed so peaceful with his chest moving up and down at an easy pace and snuggled so cozy under his blanket, probably dreaming of chocolate and books and maybe him too. Sirius smiled at that thought and suddenly, he drifted off to sleep as well.

XxxXxxXxx

When Sirius woke up, it apparently had been hours later and Remus was awake, sitting against his headboard and reading a book. He moved a little and Remus glanced at him for a second and smiled into his book. "Nice nap?"

Sirius stretched and sat up against his headboard as well. "These beds are bloody uncomfortable and I didn't even put on a blanket so now I'm cold. But forget me, how are you feeling?" Remus smiled softly.

"I'm better than earlier. My bones are still kind of sore but that pain is pretty much gone"

They were silent for a moment, the obvious discussion the needed to have dangling between them. Sirius decided to be reckless and be the one to start.

"Remus we need to talk…about, you know..."

"Yeah, I know. Could you just um, make sure the room is clear first?"

Sirius nodded and pushed open the curtain. Lucky for them there was no one else occupying a bed and Madam Pomfrey was in her office so he went back in bed and gave him thumbs up. Remus sighed, looked at him and began his story.

"I became a werewolf at the age of 6. A man named Fenrir Greyback bit me. I have lived with this condition for a pretty decent chunk of my life. My dad ran when I was 10 and left me and my mum alone. But even she couldn't handle it and now she just stays in bed all day, she almost never interacts with me and it forced me to learn how to take care of myself. She did tell me one think; know your friends and don't get close to people. For the longest time my…condition…. prevented me from making any friends. Well, that and being so awkward." He took a deep breath and then continued.

"I never felt comfortable in my own skin and I hated myself, for the longest time. I wondered why Dumbledore wanted me in this bloody school if I could tear everyone apart. For years, I have felt alone and like serious shit until I started…crushing on you. It just…made me feel more human and less like a monster. Getting to see you made me feel all kinds of emotions and it put things more at ease. Then I became friends with Lily, who I got close to even though I knew I shouldn't have. But she is a great person and she actually liked me. And obviously now, I have you. So everything is kind of okay, but then I go to my room and I look in the mirror and remember the disgusting beast I am and I fear that if I told you guys, I'd be alone again and I-I j-just…" He couldn't finish because he began to cry again so Sirius went over and cuddled his head onto his chest.

Remus whimpered and wrapped his arms around his stomach and cried. Sirius hadn't seen someone cry so much, so many times in his life. James really never cried and his dorm mates never did, at least not in front of him, so this much emotion made Sirius very overwhelmed but he held onto him so it would show that he was here for him.

After a few minutes, Remus lifted his head off his chest and looked at him.

"This changes things. I know it does" Remus said simply. Sirius pursed his lips together tightly.

"It doesn't change the way I feel about you and that I want to be your boyfriend. It doesn't change the fact that I understand you're a werewolf and that you may think I am disgusted by you but honestly, I'm not and it doesn't make me think any less of you. This secret will be something we need to adjust into our relationship, like how things might flow differently at full moons, but that's okay because we can face it together instead of alone." Sirius gave him a nervous smile.

Remus looked him in the eyes and searched them, as if he was trying to make sure this was all the truth. Sirius rolled his eyes, leaned in and began to kiss him.

Remus happily responded and cupped his neck while Sirius cupped his cheek. They moved their lips at a steady pace and soon, after Sirius licked his lips and put his tongue in, things were getting a little more heated. Sirius had Remus pressed against his body and had such a need to let his hands wander his body and trace out every single part. He wasn't sure how he'd respond so he just let his fingers ghost his back lightly and before he could do anything else, Remus kind of just went rigid.

Sirius slowly pulled back from the kiss and looked at Remus, who looked uncomfortable and scared. He put his hands on his cheeks so he was looking at him.

"Remus, was that okay? Did you not want me to do that? Was it…your scars?"

Remus but his lip and began blushing hard, making his warm skin become a lot more colored.

"It's just…I don't know. I've never been touched like that before, like something that wasn't supposed to cause pain and I just got, overwhelmed." He was looking down and Sirius tilted his chin up again.

"That's okay. I won't do anything you don't want me to. Just tell me okay?" Remus nodded and smiled at him, which made Sirius smile. They both leaned in again and kissed again, a kiss with lots of promise and something they both had felt strongly about, trust.

XxxXxxXxx

It was the next day and Remus was leaving today to go back to classes, along with Sirius. At the moment, Remus was getting a final check-up so Sirius just sat at the bed and watched him.

He was so innocent and just the kindest person to ever walk the he planet. How could someone so good like Remus Lupin get cursed with something he never asked for and never deserved. He was amazing in his eyes and he felt everything for him. He loved him.

Sirius stopped thinking for a second and tried to comprehend what he just thought. Love? He never really associated that word with anyone but James, even though that was just a brotherly love, so he didn't know if that was really how he felt. He knew love was strong and his feelings for Remus were strong. However, it could be anything, not just love. He decided to keep this feeling to himself for now and maybe confide in James before he said nay of this to Remus.

"Ready?" Remus asked. Sirius looked up to see a smiling Remus, who looked as ready as ever. Sirius smiled and pushed down the feelings he knew he had to try to work through, but not right now.

"Yes, yes I am."

The two of them walked out hand in hand and decided to just stay like that until they saw someone, just so they could relish in each other for just a little bit longer.

* * *

 **Next chapter will have some more Jily and Slytherin conflict and these two will face something big! Please review and have a great Tuesday :)**


	13. Chapter 13

**New chapter! This one is a little longer than I intended but I guess that could be a good thing :) There will also be lots of description about love so be prepared for that. There will be a sort of announcement at the end but for now, enjoy the chapter!**

* * *

As the day went on, Remus spent most of his time with his head in a book and doing work. Since he missed some classes, he spent his day off in the library catching up since Sirius was off at Quidditch practice. He felt very peaceful surrounded by the things he loved and was so engrossed he didn't hear someone call his name. When he heard it a 3rd time, he looked up to see not Sirius or James, but Lily.

Her fiery, red hair swayed behind her back as she moved to sit across from him. When she did, she gave him a big and very kind smile.

"Hi Remus, how have you been?" Remus returned the smile and felt a little sad because he actually missed talking to her all the time. They both had been so busy for the past couple weeks that they hadn't been able to have a full, proper conversation.

"I'm actually very well. Things have um…been looking up" he said with a hint of a smile and a slight blush, one that Lily caught.

"Okay your blushing, something you rarely do so can I assume that this has to do with a certain someone…Slytherin perhaps" she suggested.

He looked at Lily, who has such a hopeful and excited look on her face, and nodded. Her eyes widened and she ran across the table and hugged him very tight from behind. He smiled and returned it the best he could.

"Oh Remus I knew you could do it! Tell me everything; is Black always the narcissistic asshole he acts like?"

He laughed as she went back to her seat. "No he's not that type of person. He's so much more and it's crazy to see that side of him, but also just amazing actually um."

And Remus truly meant it. The mere fact that he found out that Remus was a werewolf and didn't run or be disgusted, but embrace him and tell him he still cared about him had to be the best thing anyone had done for him emotionally about it. His parents tried to act neutral when it first started but they were truly frightened of him and it made his father run, which was cowardly because he's the reason he is what he is, and his mother tried hard to be there but everything was hard for her and she just gave into fear. His parents made him feel disgusted and unloved but Sirius made him feel, worthy. When Dumbledore and Madam Pomfrey knew they made him feel okay but Sirius just made the monster just slip away like it wasn't even there.

"Oh my god Remus he must be one great lover" she laughed.

He chuckled lightly and nodded. She smiled back and he felt a little sad because he missed having a ongoing friendship where they could just let it all out.

"So have you finally decided your feelings for James?' he asked. Lily blushed and looked down.

"I mean, we spoke the other day. We walked around on the grounds and talked about stuff. He kind of jut followed me and he was a good listener. I told him I was willing to hang out t again whenever he wanted but didn't want him to think I was automatically falling head over heels for him you know?"

Remus nodded. "And plus, we also spent time talking about you and Sirius."

This made Remus look right at her again. "Y-you did what?" he asked.

Lily laughed, "Oh don't freak out on me Remus, I just casually brought it up assuming James would have a feel for what I was talking about and he did so we discussed when you two would grow some balls and say something to each other."

Remus held her eyes as if still annoyed but laughed a little. "Oh well I'm glad my somewhat existing dating life is helping yours so well"

Lily rolled her eyes. "We aren't dating; it's simple 'getting to know you' types of things. We're not going to fall in love tomorrow." Remus rolled his eyes as well and looked down at his books again.

"Speaking of love, is that how you feel about him? Are you in love?" she asked. He looked at her and sighed.

"I don't know honestly. I've been thinking about it a lot recently and I think my feelings are love. But even if it is, what if he's not ready to hear it or doesn't feel the same way? What if he runs? Or what it's not love and just me feeling strongly for him.

"Remus slow down and breathe. Just think about him for a second and how you feel about him"

Remus nodded and closed his eyes. He thought of the first time he noticed Sirius and how he thought he was such a beautiful person. He thought about his dazzling smile and perfect teeth he always sent everyone's way. He thought about the times he saw Sirius with other girls and feeling such a longing to be one of those girls who gets to be around him. He thought abut the first time they had a full conversation. He thought about the times they held each other eyes for the longest time. He thought about the different emotions that swirled in those grey orbs. He thought about when they hung out at Hogsmeade and he bought him chocolate. He thought about when he defended him at Hogsmeade. The time they agreed to hang out at night and be friends. The time he saw Sirius defeated for the first time and the pain he felt when it happened. Their first kiss, the cuddles, the laughs. The time where Sirius found out and made him feel accepted for the first time in his life.

Remus opened his eyes and looked at Lily, who was smiling, and he knew she was thinking the same words that were about to come out of his mouth.

"I do Lily. I do love him."

XxxXxxXxx

That night, Sirius was lying down on his bed and throwing a small ball up in the air while ranting to James. He was supposed to meet Remus but he said he had too much studying to do and that he'd make it up to him with lots of cuddles and kisses, which made Sirius automatically, comply.

"I mean, do I love him?" he asked

James was working on something so his attention balanced between that and speaking to Sirius.

"Honestly? I think you do. He is the first person besides me to accept your crazy bullshit and you accepted him for whatever secret he has that you won't tell me." He said this calm and carefully but Sirius caught the slight edge in his voice.

Sirius had told James that Remus had some things he kept to himself but didn't say what. He was very suspicious when Sirius had come back that following morning after spending the day with Remus and he prodded Sirius until he gave him a proper response. He told James that it wasn't his place to tell and while he seemed a little pissed and confused at first, he acknowledged that this wasn't a bout him and just accepted everything Sirius was saying but also wasn't saying about it.

"I know right. And I know I haven't felt a connection like that. I mean you and I have a great connection where I can tell you everything but with Remus, it's like a fluttery feeling. One that makes me not want to be shit all the time. One that makes me want to be better, ya know?'"

James was looking at him closely then laughed and rolled his eyes. "You sound like a love sick puppy"

"Oh fuck off. You're supposed to be supporting me not laughing at me you jerk" he snapped.

James laughed some more. "Okay, okay. But as for if you love him, well what do you feel for him?" James asked.

"I mean, I feel so much for him. Every time I see him, he takes my breath way. We spend all our nights together and I talk to him and get used to the little things he does. And he makes me happy, you know. All the shit with my parents and life in general makes me sink into myself and shut out all happiness. But he makes me want to bear it. It's like I have something worth bearing it for. He's the only person besides you who kind of sees all of me, and that's crazy since I've known him only for a few months. And he makes me want to be, I don't know…better. Have goals and be happy, that sort of thing. I also love to make him smile. He has such a beautiful smile and when he laughs, it's the sweetest thing I have ever heard. He is so compassionate and wears his emotions on his sleeve and I just want to hold him all the time and give him kisses and tell him it okay. I want to cuddle with him in a place that's not the bloody ground and pepper his face with kisses and repeat 'I love you' over and over again and…" he stopped and looked at James, who was looking at him with a knowing smirk.

"First off, I didn't know you became such a sweet sap about Remus or that he could make you feel that way. And second, I think you know whether or not you love him but you were just trying to work things out, which was stupid since you and I both know you love him" James smiled and Sirius smiled back, staring up at the ceiling.

"And now I know as well" another voice said. It was a disgustingly smooth voice Sirius knew all too well.

"Ah fuck" Sirius muttered.

Snape was at the door, which he opened quietly, and stood there with a stupid smirk on his face.

"Aw, your confessions of love about Lupin are so adorable aren't they?"

James rolled his eyes and sent him a sharp glare. "Snape, stay out of this and mind your business."

"You want me to mind of my business? Oh, well sorry I cannot 'mind my business'. And it will be the schools business as well. When tomorrow morning I spread this rumor around that Lupin and Black are sad lovers" he snarled.

Sirius had enough and got up to punch Snape in the face, but James blocked him from doing so. Snape laughed loudly and scurried out of the room;. James locked the door and Sirius looked furious.

"Fuck!" he screamed. He threw something at the wall and James grabbed him before he did something stupid.

"Mate, I know you're angry but calm down for a minute" James pleaded

Sirius pushed out of his hold and turned around to face him. "Calm down? James by tomorrow the whole school will know. And I don't care at this point what people think of me but Remus does and now he had to deal with being forced out of the closet without doing it on his terms cause I couldn't keep my fucking mouth closed!" he screamed.

James grabbed him and got him to take deep breaths. Sirius did and then sat back on the bed.

"Look mate, I know this sucks I do. And Snape is a goddamn shithead and were going to get him back good for this. But instead of thinking the worse, just try to think about what might come out of this. You and Remus don't have to hide. You can be affectionate, in love or whatever you please. And if people have something to say? Fuck them. I do get Remus is very anxious and doesn't like the attention but that's why he as you. He has you to make him feel confident and feel better. You even said he is coming out of his comfort zone more. He is getting that from being with you so if he sees you taking it well, he will too."

Sirius thought about this for a second. While he wasn't happy this had to go down this way, he and Remus don't have to hide and maybe that will be a confidence booster for him.

"I guess you're right. God I hate when you're right. But, thanks" James nodded and squeezed his shoulder.

"Yeah well, I am more of an expert on your romance then my own. But luckily, Evans seems to be not as angry with me then she has been before so that's a sign." Sirius gave him a smile to show he's happy for him. Because he was, he truly was.

"Well enough with the lovey dovey talk. You need your sleep for tomorrow if we're going to walk into this whole thing." James walked to his bed and Sirius, looked on, thinking about what tomorrow might bring.

"Yeah, guess so."

XxxXxxXxx

As Sirius waited for Remus that morning, countless people were staring and talking about him. Snape definitely made sure the news got around fast. Some people came up to him to say nice things, others said shitty things, in which Sirius told them to go fuck themselves, regardless of who it was. Surprisingly, many people told him to treat Lupin well and not mess with his feelings because he was a good guy. That brought his mood up a little to know that people care for Remus even if he doesn't know it.

Sirius was getting annoyed with the attention and still hasn't seen Snape yet. He was planning on giving him a few good punches, despite all the teachers in the room, who were most likely oblivious to everything going on. James, who was right by his side the whole time, was looking out for Evans because she was most likely coming in with Remus. And finally, they did.

Lily and Remus were clearly having a conversation when they walked in. The whole hall went pretty quiet after that. Then the whispers started and it took Lily and Remus a minute to notice. Lily was frowning and Remus was looking a little pale, even from here, from all the attention. Remus hated being stared at and he was suffering it because of him. Everyone found out he was gay because someone said it for him. And Sirius couldn't stand that.

He didn't know pf this was a good idea but he wanted Remus' coming out to be more seen the heard. Even if Remus killed him for it later. So he stood from his seat and walked towards the pair, James hot on his trail.

Sirius could hear whispering from round him as he approached the Gryffindor's but all he really saw was Remus turn his head to him and give him a look that was asking " _What the hell is going on?"._ When Sirius was in front of him, he grabbed Remus by the collar and slammed his lips on his.

Remus didn't kiss back for a second, probably confused and maybe paralyzed at what just happened, but after a second slowly and carefully kissed back. Their lips slowly moved together in a kiss that wasn't hungry, but just peaceful and living. As they did, Sirius heard Lily clap and then James and then more people in the hall clapping. It was a surprising thing because most people really wouldn't accept this type thing, but it was also comforting to know some people understood.

Sirius slowly pulled back from the kiss and laid his head softly on Remus'. A single tear dropped from Remus' eye and for a million reasons he couldn't explain at that moment, he came out with the words he had wanted to tell him for some time now.

"I love you" Sirius whispered softly.

Remus' amber eyes that were glistening with tears, looked in his eyes, as if seeing if this was pity or the truth and when he found his answer, he smiled and whispered back "I love you too."

* * *

 **As to why I had the people clapping, the idea of it being quiet while they kissed kind of bugged me. It's kind of a cliche and that most likely wouldn't happen but I just needed to fill the silence. As for my announcement, I think after this chapter, I will write one or two more and then an epilogue. I don't know if there is a lot more I can do with the story and with school coming up soon, things are getting busy so I want to give it a good finish now. If you have any suggestions for an ending, please let me know but right now, I think there will be sort of a wrap up and an epilogue going into the future. Hope you understand and thank you to everyone who has kept reading despite my shit uploading schedule :) Hope you all had a great weekend and please review!**


	14. Chapter 14

**This chapter is kind of late but I have been way to lazy to edit this but I finally did! After this, there will be one more chapter and an epilogue. I would expand on this story but school is approaching and I know I wot have time to write so I want to at least finish it. I do have a idea for a sort of extra sort and Ill explain it at the end of the chapter. For now, enjoy this one and please review!**

 **Warning: There will be some descriptions of abuse in this chapter so if that makes you uncomfortable, there will be a * where it starts and ends so you can skip it.**

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As the months went on and Easter vacation was nearing, Sirius felt like he was constantly floating on a cloud. He had an amazing boyfriend, a fantastic best friend and things were looking up for him.

After the whole school found out about their relationship, they were not as shy about their relationship. Well, at least Sirius wasn't. Kisses in the hallway, hugs almost all the times, lots of touching, things like that.

Despite the fact that their relationship was known by pretty much the whole school, they still continued to do their outside thing once in a while, mainly when they really needed that interaction.

They had a lot of firsts throughout the past couple months. They had their first Christmas, when James invited Sirius and Remus to his home and they opened gifts while Remus snacked on loads of unhealthy chocolate. They had their first Valentine's Day, when they both snuck into Hogsmeade where they consider their 'first date" and just messed around like children. They also eventually had their first 'time", which wasn't planned and kind of confusing at first but also gentle and loving and the best thing either of them had ever experienced.

They had a great, actually amazing, thing going and neither of them could express how happy they were. Even James and Lily were happy for them. The two of them had gotten closer over the months of watching over the lovebirds and eventually decided to give a relationship a shot. Even though James did get on her nerves a lot, they were adorably falling for one another and it was really good.

Sirius was kind of shocked on how easily Remus could know how he was feeling. How he could read him like his dusty, old books. The only person who knew him _that_ well was James, but whenever Sirius was mad or sad or upset, Remus just knew and always tried to coax it out of him. And he could never say no to those adorable amber eyes and his sad face.

They were also able to talk freely about their _conflicts_. Remus always told him when there was a full moon so he'd wait for him throughout the night in the hospital wing and be right in the bed beside his for when he was brought it in the morning. And luckily, Madam Pomfrey was okay with this.

While his last few months have been pretty amazing for him, it was now holiday and Sirius had to finally go to see his parents. They were the ones whom he hadn't seen since the middle of summer, in which he ducked out early to spend the remainder of summer with James. Also the ones he hated passionately.

He had also spent his winter break at James' house since his mum invited him. However, James' dad is in the hospital and since he figured they would want some family time, he had volunteered to spend it at home, despite James urging him it would be fine to come. He was going to ask Remus if he could stay with him but he knew the problems he had with his mum and didn't want to be a burden.

So that's why he found himself waiting at Kings Cross station for his brother, Regulus, to stop talking to his friends so they could apparate out of there. He used to love his brother a lot. They would always take care of each other when they were younger and enjoy each other's company. But then, as he grew up, he decided to be more interested in what his parents were selling then Sirius was.

He followed their every call and gave him all the love and affection in the world. They even wanted to name him the heir of the Black house, even though it should be Sirius.

Regulus also had no problems letting his parents beat Sirius to hell. Sometimes, he'd even encourage it and say he did something so they would. Sirius had a deep hate for him, mainly because he was his brother and he thought he would have his back and help him, but instead just treated him worse than his parents. They chose not to even acknowledge each other at school and never exchange words.

He turned his head and saw Regulus walk towards him, a cold and nasty look on his face. He stood next to him and grabbed his arm. No hi or anything, just a signal to get them out of there. He sighed and they disapparated off to 12 Grimmauld Place.

XxxXxxXxx

When Sirius arrived, as usual, no one really cared about his appearance. They acknowledged him at times, but the only words said to him were just insults about how irresponsible he was and that he was disgrace to the Black name. This didn't bother him though because it was nothing he hadn't heard before. Luckily no one brought up him and Remus so he was in the clear for now.

That is, until dinner that evening.

They were eating some weird thing that Kreacher had cooked and Sirius pretended to eat it while the room was filled with silence. His mother spoke now and again to say nice things to his father and rude things to him but it seemed like an okay dinner. But of course, Regulus had to speak.

"So Sirius, how are things at Hogwarts with that Half-Blood Gryffindor boy? You seem awfully cozy in the halls and after that nice ol' kiss in the Great Hall; I assume you're a couple?"

Sirius dropped his fork and was swearing in his head. Most of the times he forgot Regulus was at Hogwarts, especially when it's important. And now he knew and told his parents, who were narrowing their eyes and ready to scream.

"You w-were k-k-kissing a boy? At school? In front of EVERYONE? And a half-blood?! They are as dirty as mudbloods" his mother roared. .

Sirius swallowed and kept quiet. He didn't want to say anything just to keep a bigger fight from happening. But he was angry. He was angry at Regulus because he is a shithead who lives off of his pain. But especially for his parents because they were saying things like "freak" and "disgusting" but it wasn't just about him, it was about Remus as well. He would do something to them but he needed to get out so he blocked out his mothers and father screams and though about how he could get out of this and off to James' house.

His lack of attention must've begun to show because suddenly, he felt a sharp pain across his cheek. He looked up and his father looked murderous. He yanked Sirius hard by his long hair and dragged him up the stairs. He knew he was going to get a beating and knew he had no way of getting out of this one. If he tried to leave, they would probably just kill him so he decided to take it. He had a better chance of leaving the home later if he did. But at the moment, he didn't know that this was going to be more than just a beating.

 ******* When they got upstairs, he threw Sirius on the ground and kicked him hard in the stomach. Sirius fell over and groaned, feeling his dinner contents lingering in his throat. His father grabbed him again by the hair and punched him extra hard in the jaw, which most likely is broken.

"You think I will tolerate having a Nancy boy in my family?! You think you ca fancy boys and think I'd let you leave alive?!" He roared. Sirius shivered. He had never heard his father _this_ angry.

He got on top of Sirius and beat him hard. Sirius felt all of it. He felt every punch, the bleeding, broken nose; the pained, sore jaw; the metallic tasting blood lingering on his tongue; all of it. He also heard all the slurs he spat in his face. Better him than Remus.

"And who's this boy? Lupin you say? Oh I know that family. His father was always a weak, crazy shit who couldn't do anything for himself and his mum as well. Guessing their pathetic son turned out exactly like them."

Sirius felt anger bubbling in his body but it faltered by a sharp blow to the stomach.

"Dirty half-bloods. Almost as bad as mudbloods. You think you can kiss some dirty halfblooded dog on the lips and still be considered worthy? I should kill him as well!" And at that point, Sirius lost it.

"Shut the hell up!" Sirius screamed and used every ounce of strength he had to push his father off. His bones felt weak and his chest as well, but he lifted himself off the floor and get ready to apparate. Unfortunately, he felt the pain of it before his mum even said the words.

He fell to the floor and felt his lungs burning as he screamed like a banshee. Every inch of his body was one fire and it was like white hot iron was being put on his skin. He felt even his soul screaming in agony. It was the cruciatus curse.

They had always threatened him with it but he never thought they'd do it since it's illegal. He didn't think they hated him so bad that they'd torture him. But now, he knew they did.

His head felt like thousands of bombs were going off in it and he felt like his body wants to die but can't'. He was in the worse kind of pain and the only thing he wanted was to just die. He heard his parent laughing and he knew that they felt nothing for him anymore. Just because he was in love.

When they stopped, it was because his father was telling her something and he knew what it was. He wanted her to use another curse. On that wasn't so painful, but worse the same. Before they could even point the wand at him, he sued every last ounce of strength left, concentrated, and apparated the hell out of there.***

XxxXxxXxx

When he arrived, he fell and landed on his stomach. He was there, at James' house. It was a nice family sized house that was not too far away from other wizard homes. He really didn't want to bother them but he didn't know where Remus lived and he just really needed to be somewhere safe at the moment.

He felt lots of soreness and a sharp pain shiver in his whole body as he walked up the stairs. He weakly rang the doorbell and slouched on the ground besides the door. Apparating in his state had made him feel even worse and he wondered why he wasn't just dead yet.

When James opened the door, he heard him say his name and call his mom and after that, everything went dark

XxxXxxXxx

When he opened his eyes, James was looking down at him while his mother was examining him. He smiled weakly, knowing he was in good hands. James' mum was a good woman who instead of joining the dark side, works at St. Mungo's and helps people. When Sirius groaned loudly, James narrowed his eyes at him.

"Bloody hell Sirius what happened?" he asked. James had seen Sirius with a bruised body and a broken nose but nothing _ever_ this bad.

Sirius gave him another weak smile. "Parents know. Gave me a hell of a beating. Even used the C-Cruciatus curse."

James' eyes widened and he looked at his mum, who was staring at Sirius with glassy eyes and a pained expression.

"Darling they did…they did what? I knew they were nasty but to use an unforgivable curse on their own child… Oh if I had just let you come…" His mom had stopped dabbing Sirius' nose and began to full outcry.

James put a hand on her shoulder and Sirius' eyes widened in surprise and horror.

"Mrs. Potter in no way is this fault. I'm the one who went!"

"But I shouldn't have let you! I knew they w-weren't treating you right in that house and I was so caught up over James' father I didn't think…" She started sobbing again and Sirius felt tears coming in his eyes.

Here was James' mother, crying over the fact that she couldn't save him from his terrible parents. Blaming herself like a mother usually would if something happened to their child. That was when he knew that James' mother was like his as well. Not by blood, but by the fact that she showed him more love than his family ever did. So Sirius grabbed his mum and pulled her into a hug and just held her through the tears.

Sirius looked up at James, who was watching them with a sad look on his face and a single tear falling from his eye. James had never cried when Sirius came to him after a "fun' summer at home and when Sirius just couldn't cry, he gave him a hug or made him laugh just to let him know that he was there and not going to let him be alone.

Even James' father, who was in the hospital resting after an accident. He had always been there when he came to their home. He was the one that offered to give Sirius his own room at their home. He was the one who told him and Remus "Cheers!" when they came to their home for Christmas. He was the one who made him laugh during fun Quidditch practices over the summer.

The Potter family meant the absolute world to him. They accepted the boy he loved so dearly and treated him like they were his own. They were his real family, purely by love, and with them is exactly where he wants to be.

* * *

 **Kind of dark but the end was kind of light. This was mainly to describe the meaning of family and who Sirius' really family was, aka the Potter's. Next chapter, aka the final one, will have Remus and some other stuff. Or something like that. I know this story is ending but I had an idea of writing another story of one-shots about some of their moments. Like some of their outside meetings, their Christmas, valentines day, etc. The moments I talk about but don't really go into depth about. they can even be about Sirius' breakdowns or James and Lily. If you'd like this, please let me know and I will find time in the future to write it. It wouldn't be right now but it would be in the future. Okay sorry for that long message, hope you enjoyed and have a great Tuesday!**


	15. Chapter 15

**This is it guys. The final chapter (well there will be an epilogue). I just wanted to say thank you so much to everyone who followed me through this story and kept reading even when I didn't upload for drastic periods of time. You kept me motivated to finish and I had lots of fun giving these characters a nice love story. I hope you liked it and I hope you enjoy this final chapter!**

* * *

" _Wish break would end faster_ " Remus thought as he watched outside from the window at his home. He was currently on break and decided to come and see how his mum was doing. He knew that once he graduated from Hogwarts that he most likely won't be seeing her a lot so it was a now or never situation.

But maybe it was a bad idea. His mum was exactly the same as she was before he left last fall for school. Miserable, depressed. She came out of bed but only to down bottles of muggle alcohol. She was hiding out at their cottage in Bristol, the one she had chosen to live in so they could feel "normal".

She looked tired all the time and also barely spoke to him. If she did it would be her blaming him for all kinds of things, especially for their father leaving, and also throwing bottles at him.

Luckily the full moon had passed because he hated doing it at home. He had to go into the cellar in the basement and spend the whole night locked and chained up. It was extremely painful and his mum only locked and unlocked it, nothing else. He had trouble taking care of himself at first but Madam Pomfrey gave hi some pointers.

But despite all of this, he couldn't bring it to hate his mum. He wanted to and he should but he can't.

He hates his dad; walking out on his family when Remus was only 10. He had only left because he didn't think he could handle Remus being a werewolf or the hate that comes with it. And the worse part being that he was the one who provoked Fenrir Greyback to bite him in the first place.

His mum was sad and miserable but she was still his mum. He has been taking care of her almost as long as she has taken care of him. But he couldn't do it forever. He knew that made him a bad son, but he couldn't spend the rest of his life with her just to feel miserable and hated by her.

He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't hear her come in the room. "Are you going back to that school anytime soon?" his mum asked.

He jumped slightly when he saw her. Her under eyes were rimmed black and red veins were lingering in her eyes. She was pouring herself a glass on whiskey and muttering softly to herself. It had become a habit and he tried to convince her to seek therapy but she just yelled at him some more.

"Yeah um, the train for King's Cross leaves tomorrow morning. I will catch a bus there"

She hummed in acknowledgement and began to down the whole bottle and the sight made him sick. He swallowed heavily and went to take it.

"That's enough mum" he said, grabbing it and taking it away.

"The hell it is, give it back." she barked. But he didn't budge. She tried going for it but he got away and suddenly got furious.

"Look I know you're miserable and sad and think I'm a waste since my mere existence cost you your husband but I'm the only person left on this goddamn planet that actually cares if you live or die. And yes, when the time comes I am going to graduate from Hogwarts and go out and live in the wizarding world but my heart keeps telling me not to and to stay in the muggle world for you but I can't keeping putting my life on hold for someone who is broken" his voice was cracking and he felt tears spilling down his eyes.

His mum was staring at him shocked and then pursed her lips tight. She walked over to him and instead of hugging or comforting him; she just grabbed the bottle from him and two more.

"I don't need you worrying about me. Live your life. Have the happiness you stole from me" she said sharply. She then walked into her room and slammed the door.

He slid down the wall onto the floor, clutched his legs and cried. He cried because he hated the fact that he kept doing this to himself. He loved someone who doesn't want it. There were even days where he actually did blame himself for everything.

He wished Sirius or Lily or even James were here. He had been so accustomed to not being alone these past few months that now that he was, it was a scary and heart wrenching feeling. He wanted comfort in others and not just his wooly warm sweaters and dozens of milk chocolate bars. His heart ached for some interaction and he cried more for it.

After a good cry, he got up and tidies the house. He spent the rest of his day avoiding his mum; well she avoided him, and just doing all the studying he could for his newts. He had done mostly studying during break and wanted to throw some in while he could.

The following day as he walked out of his home to go to the bus, he looked at the home and sighed. He knew he would be coming back to retrieve his things. But, as he got on the bus and it drove him away, he kept wondering if coming back for her will ever actually be good for him in life.

XxxXxxXxx

Remus was lightly laying his head on the window in his compartment. He, Sirius, James and Lily had agreed on a compartment to sit in and since he was the first to get there, he waited alone. He was still feeling the effects of the conversation he had with mum yesterday and it definitely brought his mood down. But he wanted to be positive. He knew Sirius would be. After spending Easter with James, they must've had a ball. Maybe not so much Lily because her sister hated her and magic but she did have her family so things must have been good.

He felt his eyes fluttering close but he tried to stay awake. He had barley slept at home because being there wasn't as comforting as it used to be, not like Hogwarts. As he was about to doze off, he heard to door slip open.

''Remus you're here!" someone yelped. He opened his eyes and Lily gave him a kiss on the cheek and sat across from him.

As the train left and began its route to Hogwarts, they had talked mostly about their breaks. Remus hadn't talked yet because he as hearing Lily complain about her sister, who he was actually glad for since he didn't want to talk about his break at all.

When it was James' turn he said something that set some things off.

"Well Sirius had unexpectedly come…" he stopped and froze. Remus frowned and looked at Sirius, who had gone pale and Lily, who as looking down as well.

"What do you mean he showed up unexpectedly? I thought you were spending break with James" Remus asked, thoroughly confused. Sirius cleared his throat and James muttered something to Lily that made the two of them leave the compartment, saying something about the trolley witch.

Remus turned to look at Sirius and finally noticed he looked very off. His smile was there but his eyes were sad and dull like they were on days where his mind wandered off into sad territories. And his face, it had lightly faded bruises on it. It would be hard to see for most but he's spent so much time looking at his face that he knew when something was off.

"Sirius, what's going on? What's happened?" he asked softly, rubbing his thumb in the top of his hand.

"Love, I'm fine! It's not a big deal."

Remus wasn't buying it and he looked at him. He really looked at him, trying to convey that its him and he can talk to him. And slowly, he saw Sirius' composure slowly wither away and his eyes got very glassy. He took a deep breath.

"Over break err, well more like the first day. Look I um, I went home. And before you complain, it was only for a day. That day when my arse kissing little brother told my so called parents that I was in a relationship with you and they beat me to hell and back and unforgivable cursed me. I got out of there that night and spent the rest of break at James'. No big deal."

But it was. It was because as he finished, he began to tremble slightly and his voice was cracking. Remus stared at him with such sadness and hurt that he couldn't even form words.

"Remus p-please say something. I have barley been holding it together and I kind of need your words of I-intellect right now"

He was still at loss for words but he had to try to provide comfort. He swallowed a big gulp and softly cupped his cheeks.

"I….I can't begin to imagine what you must've felt and I know sorry won't change what happened so I won't say it even though you know I am. But you can't go back there. Ever. I know you know that but I have to tell you anyways. You are okay now and you never have to see those miserable excuses for parents again. OKAY?"

Sirius let out a single laugh and put his hand over Remus' hand. He then leaned in and kissed him softly.

They kissed for a good minute and then rested their foreheads against each other's. At that moment, Remus felt so centered. So whole. He felt the type of home he didn't feel at his regular home or with his mum but the type he felt when he is at Hogwarts. Safe, protected, accepted. He felt that with Sirius because he was his home.

XxxXxxXxx

Days had passed since Sirius told Remus about what happened. Nothing too drastic had changed between them and Sirius was a lot colder and snippier to the Slytherins he hated. Particularly Snape.

NEWTS were making their way around the corner and Sirius was getting kind of stressed. Remus and Lily had continued ushering him and James to study and they hated it. They love being with their significant other, but not to study.

One morning, Sirius was sitting eating breakfasts with James when the Daily Prophet came. He hadn't looked at it when it arrived because he wasn't that interests but when he looked up, he noticed people were giving him funny looks. He was going to ignore it at first but it slowly began the whole Great Hall looking and silently whispering.

His eyes drifted to Remus, who was reading the prophet. He started frowning and suddenly, he started looking at him with a worried expression. Sirius was feeling aggravated and stole the paper from James.

"Sirius don't…"

But it was too late. Right there smack on the front page was his last name printed bold.

" **ORION AND WALLBURGA BLACK ARE CURRENTLY BEING HUNTED FOR USE OF AN UNFORGIVABLE CURSE ON THEIR CHILD"**

The whispering felt like sirens in his ears despite how quiet the Great Hall. He gulped and looked at James, who was watching him warily, trying to see how he was feeling. Sirius put the newspaper down and cleared his throat. He knew people had questions and that he might be a suspect for some reason, but only one thought came to his mind after reading this paper: "I'm free"

His parents were being hunted and if they were actually found, they'd be thrown in Azkaban. He'd never have to see them again. And that was just a pure blessing for him. He smiled and looked at James again, who was now frowning at him with a raised eyebrow. He felt rears pooling in his eyes, got up and left the Great Hall.

He sprinted down the halls and to the bathroom. He got in, got against the wall and slid his back down till he was sitting. He was breathing heavily and suddenly, the door opened and Remus came in and frowned. He knelt down in front of Sirius and grabbed his hands.

"Love talk to me, how are you feeling?" he asked. There was so much sincerity and love and warmth bubbling in his light caramel eyes and he just wanted to spend every day for the rest of eternity with the man in front of him right now.

"I'm free." He whispered.

Remus looked at him confused.

"I'm free" he repeated.

Remus then began to understand what he meant and gave him a weak smile.

"Yes love. Yes you are free. You are okay."

"I-" he choked out and suddenly hot tears were slipping down his face. He was shaking and Remus gathered him in his arms and held him tight and kept repeating "yes you are".

Sirius was crying. And then he was crying harder and harder and harder. The last time he cried this hard was the first time James saw his bruises and was afraid he'd leave him when really he accepted him. But right now, he had a million reasons to cry. Out of sadness; happiness; anger; loss.

Bu now, as he was wrapped in the arms of the man he loves and shaking with tears knowing those wretched people were out of his life for good, all he felt was relief. And closure. And that right now, all was okay in his life.

* * *

 **The last bit about the newspaper wasn't originally supposed to be there but I wanted Sirius to have some closure that he wouldn't have to see his parents p again. Well thank you again to everyone who read this story and if you want it to continue in a way, read the note at the end of the last chapter. Epilogue should be up by Friday. Have a great day and please review!**


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